


to die as lovers may

by Marzos



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Vamp!Ell AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marzos/pseuds/Marzos
Summary: Unable to bear giving up the love of her life, Carmilla tried to flee. But, as always, her mother was one step ahead of her. Always one for creative punishment, Lilita Morgan decided that if Carmilla wanted Ell so badly, she could have her--forever. Forced back together every twenty years for the ritual, Ell and Carmilla return yet again with one thing on their mind: get five girls and get away from each other, even when they can't truly let one another go. But when things take an unexpected turn, everything, even a hundred years of resentment and hatred, might change. (AU where Ell was turned into a vampire. Sort of an exploration in character relationships. Title from the original novella: "But to die as lovers may - to die together, so that they may live together.”)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those things where I know it won't get that many readers, but it intrigued me so much I had to give it a shot. I hope if you're reading this you'll find it interesting. :)

Carmilla always wondered why Maman had picked _her,_ of all people, and in her over 300 years of life had only ever came up with one theory. Maybe it was the resemblance. The same sharp, hard features, dark eyes, pale skin. There were times when Carmilla had to remind herself that no, she had a different mother, a _real_ mother. Maman did not share her blood even if she took everything else. Not that she could really remember what her mother looked like anymore. 

Of course, there were _some_ differences. 

“Don’t slouch, you monster.” 

Carmilla stood up straighter, copying Maman’s posture; hands behind her back, curtain rod straight, at attention. Maman looked her over. 

“...I see you grew your hair out again. Lovely. So much better than that short haircut you had.” 

“I agree, Maman.” 

Maman walked to the other side of the room, running a finger lightly across the spines of the books on her shelf. She picked one out. 

“Welcome back, my glittering girl,” Maman walked back to Carmilla, holding the book out. “I got you a present. Oscar Wilde, first edition. I know you’re a fan.” 

She took it reluctantly. This was customary. Maman always started by giving Carmilla a present. “Thank you, Maman.” 

Maman stared at her. “And?” 

Carmilla sighed. “I love you, Maman. Thank you.” 

She smiled. “Perfect. I expect you to start working promptly, as always. There are plenty of parties happening on campus right now. You can take your sister with you as soon as she gets here.” 

Carmilla paused, the book still open in her hands. “I thought Mattie was in Milan?” 

“ _No,_ not that sister. Your other sister.” 

Carmilla couldn’t stop the twisting that happened in her stomach. “She’s not my sister,” she mumbled, unable to stop herself. Maman raised an eyebrow. 

“Did you say something?” She asked, dragging her words, voice heavy with warning. Carmilla bit her cheek. 

“...Nothing, Maman, I swear.” 

“I don’t care what you do, Carmilla, but it won’t stop me from acknowledging one of my own children.” She tipped Carmilla’s chin up, kissing her on the forehead, and Carmilla tried not to look disgusted. “Now, wait for her and tell her that I will be a moment. I have paperwork to attend to.” 

She walked out, and the tension leaked out of Carmilla’s shoulders just enough that she could relax. She felt the book’s weight in her hands, going to sit on the chaise lounge. The book was a first edition of _The Picture of Dorian Gray;_ and in absolutely pristine condition. Carmilla wondered who Maman killed to get it. She ran a hand along the cover, admiring the feel of centuries-old leather. For all of her faults--her irredeemable faults--Maman did have good taste. Carmilla flipped the pages carefully, trying to distract herself. 

There was a rush of chilly fall air when the door opened. Carmilla looked in the direction of the door, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up from more than the draft. 

Her mother in the other room, Ell in the doorway, and Carmilla in the middle. A cornered animal. 

They stared at each other, Ell’s hand still grasping the doorknob.

“...Where is Maman?”

“Paperwork. She’ll be back out in a moment.” 

Ell kept staring at Carmilla, finally shaking her head quickly as if snapping herself out of a trance. She walked to the kitchen, coming back out with a candy dish full of chocolate.

She sat in the seat across from Carmilla, looking toward the door, one leg crossed over the other. 

Carmilla’s body took to being a vampire well. As a human she had already shared many of the accompanying physical features. Ell was not so lucky. When Ell was human she had a round face and a ruddy complexion. Now her face was hollowed, its angles unnatural, and the paleness of her skin looked wrong. 

Still beautiful. But tragically beautiful. 

“...So, what name this time?”

Every twenty years, Maman gave Carmilla a new name with anagrams, but Ell was simply given a new name that could be shortened to Ell. She was lucky. Millarca and Mircalla and Carmilla...it all got confusing and annoying. But Ell was always Ell. 

“She has not told me yet,” Ell answered, popping a candy into her mouth. She chewed it. “Wie heisst du?” 

Carmilla wrinkled her nose distastefully. “ _Still_ refusing to speak English, huh?” 

Ell glared at Carmilla. 

“I’m just saying Sugar, you’re over a century old. We both know you’re fluent by now.” 

“...I do not like this,” Ell said, “the words fall out of my mouth like a stone. I can do without _your_ opinion on the matter. I will speak whatever language I damn well please, _vampir._ ” 

They all had their coping mechanisms. Mattie, compliance; Carmilla, petty defiance; Ell, by clinging onto any semblance of her former humanity she could. Like the language she spoke, and the accent (even after a century, she _still_ spoke English with a German growl). Always going by Ell in every new version of herself Maman made her invent. Avoiding having to wear pants when she could because that wasn’t how women in the 1800s dressed. 

Carmilla had a feeling she would stop, eventually. Ell was only a third her age. With time she’d learn it didn’t help. 

“You know _you’re_ a ‘vampir’ too,” Carmilla pointed out. Ell glared at her. 

“Quite aware. And _you_ know who is responsible.” 

“I’m sorry, I recall trying to _keep you_ from being--” 

There was the sound of a door slamming, and a short, delicate, “A- _hem_.” 

Ell and Carmilla stopped talking. Maman glided into the room, looking at Ell. 

“Darling, stand up for Maman, please.” 

Ell got to her feet and stood at attention, looking like a nervous rabbit. Maman walked forward, tipped her chin up, and gave Ell a once over. 

“You’ve taken good care of yourself, I see. Look at this, Carmilla. Ell obviously has been taking far better care of herself than you do.” 

She took Ell’s face in a hand, squishing her cheeks. “See how nice and bright her eyes are? She gets enough sleep.” 

Ell’s eyes looked more fearful than bright, but Carmilla nodded. 

“Hallo, Maman,” Ell said, voice muffled. She let go of her. 

“Hello, _meinen kleinen Kaninchen_ ,” she said without the same hint of affection she gave Carmilla; she wasn’t sure whether that was a good or bad thing. “Your name is going to be Elise this time.” 

“Elise,” Ell said, testing the name, not that asking for a different one was an option. 

Carmilla didn’t hate it. It was better than Elke and worlds better than Elfriede. 

“Now, as always we have a few months to get this done, so I will make this brief--unlike your idiot of a brother, I don’t think I’ll be needing to hold your hands.” She flipped open a notepad she had been holding in her hand. “There are orientations, a swim party coming up, rush parties...all places where there will be plenty of young women. You know what to do.” 

“Yes, Maman,” Ell and Carmilla said in unison, then eyed each other. Maman took note. 

“And girls?” 

“Yes, Maman?” 

At the same time again. 

“I do not want any fighting. Is that clear? You have no idea how annoying that is.” 

“Of course,” Ell said, “no fighting Carmilla.” 

“Carmilla?” 

“...No fighting Ell.” 

“Good. A campus does not run itself, so I must be off. Go to the campus center for a room assignment. For now I’m having you both share one until you find more suitable arrangements, depending on how this year goes.” 

She walked past Ell and Carmilla, grasping the doorknob. She looked back at them. 

“And girls? Please, find some... _healthier_ ways of taking out your aggression toward each other. I don’t care what it is. I’d hate to punish you both if you can’t get along.” 

Ell and Carmilla eyed each other warily as Maman stepped out the door. 

“We should go find our room then.” 

“Yes, we should,” Ell responded. She tore her gaze away from Carmilla. “The sooner we can do this, the sooner I can get away from you.” 

“Fuck you too, Ell,” Carmilla said, giving Ell space as she followed her.

*** 

“ _Fuck,_ Carmilla, I-- _Jesus._ ” 

Carmilla pulled her hand away, nipping at the inside of Ell’s thigh before sitting up on her knees. Ell’s eyes were closed, stomach muscles twitching, breath coming out in strangled pants. She couldn’t help but smirk watching Ell reduced to putty beneath her hands. 

“Good?” 

Ell blinked hazily, looking up at her. “...Get off of me.” 

Carmilla shrugged. She rolled onto her side. Ell rolled onto hers. They didn’t face each other; Ell refused to. She always did. Ell sat up, back to Carmilla at the edge of the bed. 

“We need to get ready,” Carmilla said, “we have the quad mixer.” 

Ell didn’t answer. Her shoulders were hunched. She sighed internally.

“Sugar--” 

“I heard you,” Ell snapped.

“What is your problem? I just fucked you senseless. Most girls would be _worshipping_ me right now.” 

Of course, Carmilla knew the problem; they went through this every twenty years. Meet. Hate sex. Ell filled with shame and Carmilla feeling like shit for doing it _again._ Continue until five girls captured and then part ways. Rinse and repeat like clockwork. 

“This is the last time we are doing this,” Ell said, “this is disgusting. This is so wrong.” 

Right--Ell always did that, too. Carmilla wasn’t sure who was hurt more by the arrangement. 

“You are a monster and I’m a monster and this--this _thing_ is so unnatural.” 

Ell, who had been a kind hearted, innocent girl whose virginity Carmilla had consensually ripped from her after she had been turned in a moment of self hatred that had never ended. 

“I don’t make you do anything you don’t want,” Carmilla grumbled, sitting at her edge of the bed as well. Mirror images. 

Or Carmilla, who couldn’t fall out of love with Ell, not entirely, when what happened was so obviously, so _completely_ her fault. She couldn’t hate Ell for hating her when Carmilla deserved it. 

“I know you don’t. That doesn’t mean I can’t hate myself for it.” 

They both took a moment to stew--Ell in how ashamed she was of herself, Carmilla in how she had imagined her and Ell together so much differently, so long ago--before Ell sighed and stood up. 

“I _do_ wish you didn’t have to be so obsessed with biting,” she huffed as she stood, looking at herself in the mirror, “I look like your dinner.” 

Carmilla couldn’t help but feel a rush when she saw Ell’s body, covered in hickeys and bruises. She licked her lips unconsciously. “We’re vampires. It’ll heal before we get to the party. Besides,” Carmilla got up and stood behind Ell turning and looking over her shoulder, “it’s not like you’re Miss Gentle either.” 

The tips of Ell’s ears turned pink when she looked at the line of scratches down Carmilla’s back, the bruises where she’d flipped Carmilla over and pinned her wrists.

“Get dressed. We have parties to crash, vampire.” 

“Are you ever going to call me by my name?” 

“Are you?” 

“...Point taken, Sugar.” 

Ell opened the wardrobe at the other side of the dorm room. She pulled clothes out, throwing a pair of leather pants and a corset to Carmilla. She grabbed them and, silently, went into the bathroom to change. 

***

Despite all the messiness between them, Ell and Carmilla made an effective team. Ell could bring in girls that were closed off, cold, not very social. They were the hardest to attract initially, but easy to keep when they were hooked. Not a lot of friends. Once Carmilla and Ell managed to ingratiate themselves, the girls stuck around with minimal effort. 

(Attracting cold, closed off women was Ell’s specialty, in Carmilla’s expert opinion.) 

After that, it was a simple matter to throw the girls to Carmilla for seduction. Any that Carmilla dubbed ‘aggressively heterosexual’ were Ell’s to deal with. 

“Alright, what do we have?” 

“Orientation. They’re eating in the cafeteria. Who do you like?” 

They were both wearing sunglasses so no one knew they were staring. Carmilla lifted her pair for a moment and raised an eyebrow. 

“That one. Corner. Reading a calculus textbook, not talking to anyone. Looks like a bit of a bitch.” 

Ell looked at her disapprovingly. “She gay?” 

“Nope, she is definitely straight. You’re up.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“Please,” Carmilla scoffed, “I have done this for a long time.” 

Ell looked obviously uncomfortable. Carmilla crossed her arms. 

“Sugar, come on. Do your damn job so we can get out of here.” 

“Do we have to go after the straight one?” 

“You want to try pulling one of these other girls away from a group?” 

Ell bit her lip. “You know I hate being the one to do it,” she grumbled. 

“Do you think I _enjoy_ it?” Carmilla asked, refusing to let herself be brought in by her obvious discomfort. 

Ell breathed out her nose. She marched up to the target, a girl with blonde hair in a high bun and a starched collared shirt. 

“Oh my gosh, is that a calculus textbook?” Ell asked, sitting down across from her. She looked at Ell suspiciously. 

“Um...yes?” 

“I’m a calculus major, it’s just really cool to meet someone else that likes math.” 

She was leaning in, smiling. The other girl looked surprised but not necessarily bothered by her. 

“Oh, wow, most people think I’m a loser.” 

“Same! I’m Ell, by the way,” Ell held out her hand, smiling brightly.

“Elizabeth Spielsdorf.” 

Her acting skills were incredible; or, maybe it wasn’t really acting at all. Just Ell allowing herself to be the person she was before all the betrayal and ancient vampire magic. 

“You should totally hang out with me and my friend tonight,” Ell gushed after a few minutes chatting animatedly with Elizabeth, who had relaxed her rather rigid posture and copied Ell’s, leaning in with her arms resting on the table. “Hey, Carm, you totally need to meet this girl! Carm is a junior, we both are. We can give you a _way_ more fun tour.” 

Carmilla joined Ell at the table, and after a few more minutes of softening her up, Elizabeth finally said, “wow, thanks guys. I...actually haven’t been invited to a lot of parties. I was always kind of the nerd.” 

Ell’s smile twitched slightly, so quickly that Carmilla wasn’t sure someone without heightened senses could noticed. “Well, they were all stupid. In fact--hey, Carmilla, doesn’t Elizabeth _totally_ seem like Will’s type? Will is Carmilla’s brother.” 

“Oh, definitely,” Carmilla answered, “you _need_ to meet him.” 

Later that night, Ell handed Elizabeth off to Will. Carmilla didn’t see her do it. When she didn’t come back to the dorm Carmilla walked until she found Ell sitting on the roof of the astrology tower. 

“Sugar?” 

She had her knees hugged to her chest. Carmilla edged closer to her. 

“...I dropped her off with Will,” Ell said. She was obviously crying. Carmilla crossed her arms. 

“This is my place.” 

“You don’t own the astrology tower. Why are _you_ here?” 

“I’d ask you the same thing,” Carmilla answered. 

Instead of answering, Ell shuddered. She started crying again, and Carmilla didn’t react other than raising an eyebrow. 

She always did this. Always fucking did this. As if Carmilla needed another reason to feel like a piece of shit, here was Ell, sobbing every time she took a girl whereas Carmilla treated it like business as usual. Because it _was._

“I could have saved her,” Ell said, “I thought about it but I am such a _coward._ You could have done it.” 

Carmilla bit the inside of her cheek. Sure, Carmilla might have decided to do it. But she would hardly call herself _brave,_ like Ell might have been implying. She was as terrified of Maman as Ell was. Carmilla was just an asshole. 

“If I had saved her, we would have taken another one anyway,” Carmilla said, “you know this. Sugar, you _know_ this.” 

She sat down next to Ell, both their legs dangling off the edge. “Do you have to be such a pissbaby about it every time?” Carmilla growled. 

“So I can be a sociopath like you?” Ell snapped, looking at her, “no thanks. The least I can do for the girls I take is to feel horrible about it.”

“Feeling horrible won’t make you human again.” 

Ell stared at her. She looked like she was going to slap her. Or try and push her off the roof. 

Instead, Ell grabbed Carmilla by the hem of her shirt, pulling her in and kissing her. It was sloppy, messy, with more teeth than lips before Carmilla snapped out of her surprise. 

“I’m a monster,” Ell said, “I’m a monster, _you’re_ a monster, and as much as I hate you I also don’t need to lie to you. This is the only thing that isn’t a _lie.”_

The truth of it hurt. There was no love in what they were doing. Nothing resembling romance as Carmilla pushed Ell onto her back. No affection in Ell’s eyes when Carmilla told her that she had to, “fucking relax, Sugar, or you’ll drive me insane before this is over.” Carmilla could hardly call her biting hard at Ell’s neck as she ‘relaxed’ her into an incoherent mess on the roof affection. And Ell obviously felt the same way, because as soon as she regained some semblance of composure she got up and proceeded to do the walk of shame back to their room. It was all merely an attempt to erase centuries worth of pain for a few brief adrenaline fueled seconds. Carmilla was Ell’s heroin. 

But at least neither of them had to pretend it was anything more than it was. 


	2. Chapter 2

Carmilla didn’t say anything, but she made a mental note to herself that she’d get the next few; it wasn’t worth Ell’s moping. She grabbed another girl at a swim meet party, some girl named Sarah Jane, and then seduced a shy girl at a wine and cheese. Three girls down, two to go. 

They found girl number four at a rush party for the Summer Society. 

“Look at that girl,” Ell said, nudging Carmilla’s shoulder. 

“The one taking the selfie of her flipping off the camera?” 

“Mm-hm. I bet you she won’t act much different after you pass her off to have whatever happens done to her.” 

“Good point,” Carmilla put her beer down on the table; Ell frowned and set it on a coaster. Carmilla cracked her knuckles. “Time to lock down number four.” 

She left Ell alone and started chatting her up. It couldn’t have been easier. One drink and a few minutes on the dance floor later, Carmilla was pulling this girl--Elsie--away to fuck her in the bathroom and exchange phone numbers. Carmilla went back out to look for Ell, smoothing down her hair. Someone was walking away from her, and Ell was waving goodbye to her. 

“...Alright Ell, I think we’re done here,” Carmilla said, “who were you talking to?” 

“You’re not going to believe this, but remember when Maman made you come back a few years ago?” 

“What, the missing periods thing?” 

She hadn’t called Ell back, mostly because she knew Carmilla would be much less squeamish about ‘interrogating’ suspects. 

“You said the one girl was Mel, right? I think that was her!” 

Carmilla looked at her. “Wow, she looks different. Way less nerdy.” 

“Also, I’m moving out.” 

“ _What?”_

“She’s a gender studies major apparently, and we started having a conversation about 19th century women’s rights movements. Apparently she says she thinks I’d be a ‘good fit’ and she could get me a bid.” 

“And you said ‘yes’ because…?” 

“ _Because,_ apparently new pledges can live in the Summer Society House. Which _means,”_ a grin spread across Ell’s face, “you get the room all to yourself now.” 

“Eh, I already have girl number four if I need a booty call anyway.” 

Ell turned red.

***

She didn’t get the room to herself for long, because _of course_ that Elizabeth girl’s roommate had to get a little too pissy about her disappearance. Of _course_ she had to call campus security and every other office she could think of until Maman was telling Ell and Carmilla in no uncertain terms to ‘take care of it.’ 

“She’s _your_ mark, Ell, you should be the one doing it--” 

“Elizabeth was _your_ idea, and then you _made me_ do it!” 

In the end Mother dismissed them with strict orders for Carmilla to do handle it; she apparently didn’t trust Ell to be quick about it, which was pretty ironic, considering that Ell was so scared she would have done anything Maman asked. 

And _of course,_ Laura Hollis had to be the most frustrating human being on the planet. 

_Of course_ she had to be the exact type of frustrating human being that was Carmilla’s type. 

The fact that she made Maman mad was kind of a bonus.

(Carmilla knew she’d get in trouble for it later, but at the moment watching all the chaos was just _funny._ ) 

She took her time getting down there. Carmilla preferred not having to navigate around panicking students being herded by a very flustered floor don. Carmilla stayed near the edges of the crowd while Maman talked about ‘defiance’ and ‘inflammatory language.’ 

“Hey!” 

She looked in the direction of the sound. Ell motioned her over. Carmilla looked around her before complying. 

“Sugar.” 

“What the Hell did you do?” 

_“Me?”_

“It certainly wasn’t me.” 

“It was not _me,_ it was my idiot of a roommate.” 

Ell frowned. “You have a roommate?” 

“Hard to see her because she’s so short but...yeah, that girl over there, hopping on the balls of her feet like a complete spazz.” 

Ell tilted her head. “Wow. Maman made you move in with her?” 

“She’s _supposed_ to be girl number five. That first girl’s roommate.” 

Ell swallowed. “Right.” 

“Anyway, I might let her go.” 

“Her? Why?” 

“She’s...impressed me.” 

“You mean you think she’s hot.” 

“I did _not_ say that.” 

“I have been on the receiving end of one of those looks. _You_ think she’s hot.” 

Carmilla didn’t appreciate the accusatory tone. Ell shouldn’t care about who Carmilla did or did not find hot. Besides, she was the _last_ person she’d talk about it with anyway. 

“Wow, look at that vein in Maman’s neck,” Carmilla said, “she is _pissed._ ” 

Laura was not cowering, amazingly. And with the full force of Maman’s glare putting the rest of the crowd into submission. When she finished her speech about how she would ‘deal with any individuals spreading vicious rumors about this prestigious institute of learning’, Carmilla was prepared for her to dismiss the entire thing--

“With all due respect, Dean Morgan, you can’t really call missing students _rumors_ when one of our own members went missing!” 

Ell’s eyes widened. She was staring at the girl who said it, shaking her head slightly, like she was trying to warn her. 

“Miss Lawrence--” 

“Ooooh, that girl made her mad,” Carmilla said, smiling slightly. Ell looked absolutely terrified. 

“This isn’t funny.” 

“Why not?” 

“She could get in troub--” 

“Excuse me!” Neither could see who was speaking, but as soon as he started in, Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. ‘Any co-ed seven point five or higher?’” 

“I think Will ended up joining the Zetas.” 

“Not surprised. He’s among his people.” 

The corner of Ell’s mouth turned up slightly. “Yeah, he really is.” 

Carmilla didn’t have time to celebrate this small moment of Ell not wanting to kill her, because before either them realized what was happening there was talk of night marches, and then some mycological thing, and then…

“PIZZA OR DEATH! PIZZA OR DEATH! PIZZA OR DEATH!” 

Ell was hit in the face with a piece of salted herring, and Carmilla ducked out of the way of another. 

“What is it with Zetas and _fish?”_ Ell shouted. She grabbed the piece of herring and threw it as hard as she could, knocking the nearest frat boy in the back of the head and onto the ground. Mel looked at Ell and gave her a thumbs up, which she returned enthusiastically--

“ENOUGH!” 

Everyone stopped and stared at Maman. 

“This town hall meeting is adjourned! You will all learn to be _civilized_ human beings, and there will be no talk of ‘night marches’ or anything of the sort, because girls are _not_ going missing. Now, _dismissed!”_

Ell flinched. Carmilla crossed her arms. “We should get out of here before Maman notices we’re here and decides to have a talk.” 

“ _We?_ This was all _you._ ” 

“If you actually _helped_ me instead of whining about it maybe I could have gotten this girl soon--” 

“Hey!” 

Ell pushed Carmilla away and put her hands behind her back. The same girl that was complaining about their missing member was smiling, covered in dirt and fish. 

“Danny, hey to you too. Nice job trying to, uh...stick it to the Dean?” 

Carmilla took a few steps back and watched them. 

“Yeah, well, it could have gone a little better…” Danny sighed. “I saw you smack that Zeta in the face with a fish though. Pretty ballsy Ells.” 

“Ha, thanks.” 

“Anyway,” Danny ran a hand through her hair, nose wrinkling in disgust, “I ran into my friend Laura and she offered to let me use her shower so I can get all this fish slime out. I want to see if she found anything I missed that could help us look for Elsie. Sorry for the change of plans, but uh…” She rubbed the back of her neck and added, “I guess you can come, since I was supposed to be showing you around anyway?” 

Ell opened her mouth slightly. “Um…” 

“You can just go back to the house if you’d rather--” 

“No! I would love to come with you. And pay very close attention to what you and Laura say about the girls that are missing. Because...Summers stick together?” 

Danny grinned. “Awesome. Find me when you’re ready to go. Shouldn’t be too hard, I mean…” 

“You’re super tall, Danny, I should be able to.” 

“See you then.” 

Carmilla threw Ell a pointed look when Danny walked away. Ell frowned. 

“...What?” 

“ _What?_ ‘Ells?’ Who was that?” 

“My Big Sister.” 

“Uh, Sugar, I’m _pretty sure_ even if you had a big sister she’d have been long dead by now.” 

Ell shook her head. “ _No._ When you pledge you get randomly assigned a ‘Big Sister.’ Apparently she’s supposed to be, like, showing me around campus and teaching me about college life and whatever. Now, if you excuse me,” Ell pushed past Carmilla, “I need to keep an eye on them, because I need to clean up _your_ mess.” 

“Hey, I got three on my own!” Carmilla protested, watching Ell walk away. 

***

Laura couldn’t believe her luck. Danny Lawrence, _in her dorm room._

Well, Danny Lawrence and her friend in her dorm room. 

Danny Lawrence in her dorm room for totally platonic reasons relating to kidnapping, which was _more important than a stupid crush anyway._

But still. Groundwork. 

Laura hadn’t acknowledged the girl that came with them up to this point. 

“So...who is your friend?” Laura asked. 

“Oh! Sorry, I should have asked you first before I brought her along. Laura, this is Elise--” 

“I go by Ell though,” she added, sitting on Laura’s bed, “so you can call me that.” 

“She’s a new pledge I’m mentoring,” Danny added, “she’s cool. I bet she’d love to help.” 

Ell smiled shyly at Laura. She was pretty, and taller than Laura--she had to only be a few inches shorter than Danny--but somehow, she seemed just as small. Maybe in the way she held her hands in her lap and shrunk back, looking nervously around the room. 

“Nice to meet you…?” 

Laura smiled encouragingly. If Danny was letting her sit in, it was worth having her as an ally. “Hi, Ell! It’s awesome to meet you. Meet my non-existent audience.” 

Ell leaned in slightly, to see past Danny. “So...there are people on the internet watching all of this?” 

“Yeah! All the research I’ve done is being documented for the internet at large to see. I mean, not that I really _have_ an audience yet…” 

Ell swallowed. “Um. Great. Awesome.” 

Laura looked back at the camera and started narrating what happened. Ell was staying quiet, watching her go back and forth with Danny, and after awhile Laura forgot she was there; Laura was doing pretty well for herself, other than an awkward hiccup here and there. But Danny didn’t seem to mind. 

“...Seriously though, we should compare notes,” Danny said, “we’d make a great team. Hey, Ell,” Danny turned her chair to look at her. “Want to help us with the investigation?” 

Ell’s eyes widened. “Yes. Absolutely. I would _love_ to help you guys and look very closely at every piece of evidence you have gathered so that I can see how close you-- _we_ all are at discovering what has happened. That would be fantastic.” 

Danny looked mildly confused. Laura found her a little strange. “Great.” 

“I’m, uh--I need to go back to the Summer Society, I have homework and...things.” 

She got up and backed out of the room, hitting the door before fumbling for the doorknob and slipping out. 

“So Ell is a little...jumpy,” Laura said (she couldn’t believe she would find someone more awkward than her). 

“You’d be surprised,” Danny said, “she’s actually super athletic. And you should _hear_ all the stuff she knows about the history of the Women’s Rights Movement.” 

“Well, if you give her the seal of approval, I do too.” 

“Cool. I better go make sure she doesn’t get lost--can’t wait to see you again, Laura!” 

“Oh, yeah, totally! Can’t wait to see you, too.” 

_You and your slightly off kilter friend._

But still. 

***

“We have got a problem!” 

Ell was flailing. Carmilla was used to Ell’s flailing. That didn’t make it any less annoying. But it did mean that Carmilla had learned not to take it as a sign of disaster. 

“Sugar, lower your voice. _Why_ exactly did you call this ‘emergency meeting?’” 

“Because we have got a prob--” 

“A problem, I know. But I am in the same position as you and do not see what you are apparently seeing.” 

They were in Maman’s Solarium; another perk she’d given them to try and keep them docile. Enrichment for her pets. 

“There _is_ a problem. Danny and Laura are teaming up!” 

“Teaming up?” Carmilla spread out on a lounge chair, which only succeeded in making Ell even more agitated. 

“This is not the time to relax. They are forming this--this super sleuthing team. What if they figure out what’s happening? What if--” 

“Sugar,” Carmilla said, “they are hardly the first two that have wondered what is happening to their friends. Hell, _we_ still don’t know where they’re going.” 

“Yeah, but now they’re putting it all on the _internet_ and--” Ell stopped her pacing and looked at her. “What is with these people and the internet? Why does that have to be a thing? Do you know how long it took for information to spread when I was alive? _Months!_ It took _months,_ and now she can just upload a video, and the entire _world_ knows what’s going on--i-it’s _bad._ ” 

“This has been going on for _centuries,_ and I highly doubt the internet will change that.” 

“Danny is really smart, Carmilla,” Ell answered, pacing again, “she’s really smart and if she finds a link to you, she is going to be really dangerous. She carries a _silver dagger_ around with her when she travels at night. Her getting involved is not good.” 

“You know,” Carmilla said, “if you are _so_ worried about the Jolly Ginger Giant, maybe you could make her girl number five instead.” 

Ell froze. “Make _Danny_ girl number five?” 

“I’m just saying, the Cupcake hates my guts, whereas Danny seems to enjoy your company.” 

Ell’s nostrils flared. “Oh, no no no _no,_ ” Ell said, stalking toward her, “Maman told _you_ to take care of Laura, she told _you_ to handle it, and I am _not_ going to drag Danny into this. She--she’s my--I just _won’t_ do it!” 

“Your what? _Friend?_ ” 

Ell didn’t answer. 

“Oh my God,” Carmilla said, sitting up straighter, “you are so predictable, you know that? A heroic Joan of Arc for you to drool over and put on a pedestal. All wrapped up in the modern era as your Knight in Shining Gym Shorts. I had her pegged in two point five seconds and you just can’t help yourself, can you?”

Ell was looking down at Carmilla. _“I’m_ predictable? What about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“A naive, provincial girl, entirely too tightly wound. You really should know better, Carmilla. I think we _both_ know why you want an excuse not to take _her._ ” 

“This has nothing to do with you--” 

“Besides, I was with _you,_ and you are far from being ‘Joan of Arc.’” 

“Yes, but you thought I was, didn’t you?” 

Ell’s brow furrowed. She breathed in sharply and backed away. “You’ve stopped girls from being taken before,” Ell said, “it’s my turn. You keep calling yourself the expert, figure out how to get Laura on your side so we can both go ho--well, wherever we would be if we weren’t here.” 

She turned sharply to leave, and Carmilla called after her, “Sugar?” 

“What?” 

Carmilla smirked. “Aw, no goodbye kiss?” 

“I am so angry at you,” she spat, shaking her head like a stunned animal before bolting down the stairs. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Danny had a tendency to chew her pen. Ell couldn’t help but watch when she did it. She had her knees drawn up to her chest, observing from the other side of the couch. Danny looked up from her paper and smiled. 

“You know, I’m not allergic to you. Your legs must be cramping.” 

Ell smiled sheepishly for a fraction of a second before slightly spreading her legs out.

“My paper?” 

“Excellent, as per usual,” Danny answered, “seriously, why do you even have me look over them? I never have anything to say.” 

“Once I had a comma in the wrong place?” 

“But seriously, though,” Danny continued blithely, “it feels like I’m reading a paper from someone who actually _did_ march in the Woman’s Suffrage Procession.” 

Ell laughed. “Haha. It would have been great to if I had been alive, which I definitely could not have been.” 

“You are so weird sometimes.” 

“...Sorry.” 

“That’s not a bad thing,” Danny answered, “you’re just kind of nervous.” 

Of _course_ Ell was nervous. She was fraternizing with the enemy...sort of. Right? 

Although so far all they had been able to surmise was that it had something to do with Alchemy. So they were on the wrong track. On the _very_ wrong track, which relaxed Ell somewhat. 

“Sorry?” 

“And you shouldn’t apologize for it either.” 

“Sor--” Ell paused. “...Okay.” 

Danny laughed. Ell relaxed, joining her. 

“We can work more on it after we find Elsie.” 

“...Danny?” 

She frowned a little at Ell’s soft tone, putting down her paper. “Yeah?” 

“Do you really think we’re going to find any of them?” 

“Of _course_ I do. Why?” 

Ell took a deep breath. “Because really, do we know any more than we did before? Those girls--Natalie and Sarah Jane--they’ve gone crazy, and the Alchemy Club supplies stuff for a lot of parties, don’t they? Correlation doesn’t equal causation? And I mean...you know, it seems like the more we dig the more questions we have. Not answers.” 

Danny pointed at Ell with her pen. “I see what this is.” 

“What are you saying I don’t know what you’re talking about _at all_ \--” 

“You’re scared.” 

Ell put a hand over her mouth. 

Actually, Danny hit the nail on the head. 

“I am,” Ell admitted, spreading her fingers, “I’m terrified. I don’t want anyone else to go missing...I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Danny sighed. “Ell, I’m supposed to be your mentor. I should be making sure _you_ don’t get hurt. You shouldn’t worry about me. Seriously,” she grinned, “it takes a lot to mess with Danny Lawrence. But I mean, if you don’t want to research with us--” 

“No! No, I do.” Ell said hastily, “I have your back.” 

Danny raised her hand. “You have my back?” 

Ell blinked for a moment before she realized what Danny wanted her to do. She high fived her. 

She didn’t think she’d ever high fived another human being in her life. Which was saying a lot. 

“Of course I do.” 

Before she could say anything else, there was a knock on the door. Danny got up and answered it. 

“...Dean Morgan? Sir?” 

Ell sat up ramrod straight. 

“I’m looking for Ell--you,” she stared straight at her, “come with me now, please.” 

She scrambled, falling on the ground before getting up again. She stood attention, then fell out of it, shaking her head as if she could shake off her nerves.

Danny looked concerned. Ell looked at her and said, “don’t worry, I’m not getting expelled.” 

“You better not be.” 

Although, Ell would have probably preferred it. 

***

Maman always enjoyed pausing for dramatic emphasis. 

It always came before a ‘talk.’ She would call her in--either to her office, or in this case the hallway. Then she would take a deep breath. Pinch the bridge of her nose. Exhale. And, slowly drawing out each rendition, she would repeat: 

“Carmilla, Carmilla, _Carmilla._ ” 

(Of course, it changed depending on what name she was that year.) 

She clenched her fists, looking at the floor. She caught Ell out of the corner of her eye, peeking out from behind Maman fearfully. 

“I am very disappointed in your conduct as of late, darling _._ ” 

She nodded. 

“Well? Aren’t you going to ask me _why?”_

She took a sharp breath. “Why are you disappointed in my conduct?” 

“I am quite glad you asked. I am disappointed that you seem to not be doing your job. At least your sister _\--_ ” 

“ _Her?”_

Maman grabbed Ell’s shoulder, pushing her forward. “She has been keeping a very close eye on these two wannabe-detectives. Whereas _you_ would rather be sleeping or going out to parties--” 

“You told her that?” Carmilla hissed. 

“It’s true,” Ell retorted. 

“Do _not_ act so much better, I am not exactly happy with you either _._ ” 

“The only reason we have four girls is because I got three of them myself--” 

“Well if you didn’t get _lazy_ we would have been done by now--” 

“Then why don’t you finish it off and get Danny out of the way?” 

“Do _not_ bring her into this, she told you to take _Laura,_ didn’t you Mama--” 

“ _Both of you,_ stop this _insipid childish, petty arguing._ ” 

She stepped between them, grabbing them both by the hair. Ell swallowed down a whimper, standing straight with gritted teeth. Carmilla looked at Maman. 

“...Now, will you both stop whining and giving Maman a headache?” 

“Yes,” Carmilla managed to say. 

Maman let go of her. 

“I intend to have this conversation with you only once, Carmilla,” she said, her voice raising, “I did not go out of my way to get you accepted here to have you behaving like this. If you do not take care of this situation, _I will._ I do not care who you bring me. Find one more girl and keep these little brats’ noses out of it. Do I make myself clear?” 

“ _Abundantly._ ” 

“Good.” Her voice lowered again. “As for you,” she pulled Ell closer to her, “I was quite disappointed when you neglected to tell me about your latest foray into espionage. That _was_ what you were doing, of course, wasn’t it?” 

Ell was breathing shallowly. “Yes. I was going to tell you if they were making a connection, but--but they think it’s the Alchemy Club--” 

“Wonderful. Continue the work and I expect to be updated from now on, hm?” 

“Maman, you can let her go.” 

She fixed Carmilla with a hard stare. Finally, she released her hand from where it was holding Ell’s hair by the roots. 

“...Go.” 

Bringing a hand gingerly to her scalp, Ell backed up a few steps before turning and running away. 

“I do not like insubordinance.” 

“You were hurting her.” 

She looked angry, until her face broke out into a grin. 

“Oh, my little diamond,” she said with a slight laugh, “after all these years, I can always depend on you being absolutely smitten for _her._ ” 

A retort was at the back of Carmilla’s throat, burning like bile, but she held it back. 

“Always looking out for her. It’s adorable, really. Your sister is the baby of the family, isn’t she?” 

“She’s not my…” Carmilla closed her mouth again. 

“I know, I know. See to it that you don’t disappoint me further.” 

She bent down, pecking Carmilla on the forehead before walking away. 

***

Of course, Ell had to collide into Danny. 

“Ells! Hey, what did the Dean--” 

“ _Shhh!”_

Ell grabbed her, pulling her to the side of the hallway. Maman glided past both of them. 

“...Whoa, thanks. Would _not_ have wanted to run into her. You will not _believe_ what I found though!” 

“Oh.” Ell let Danny go. “What did you find?” 

“Something that will blow this missing persons’ case right out of the water.” 

Danny was smiling broadly, and Ell felt her heart sink like a stone. 

“R-really that’s...great.” 

“Come on! I’ll tell you all about it in Laura’s room.” 

They walked in. Ell’s eyes flitted to Carmilla’s, then to Laura’s, and she smiled uneasily. 

“Laura! I have emerged from the Alchemy Department _victorious._ ” 

Ell took her customary place on Laura’s bed. She and Carmilla looked at each other. 

_What the fuck?_ Carmilla mouthed to Ell when Danny started talking about the Alchemy Club’s new obsession with mushrooms. Ell shrugged. 

“So we have pictures from _every_ party where a girl has disappeared?” 

“Yep.” 

“And we can track all the girls through all of them, Danny--you’re _brilliant!”_

“I like the sound of that. Hey Ell,” Danny looked back at her. “Still think we’re not any closer to figuring what happened?” 

Ell gave a thumbs up, trying not to look too visibly freaked out. 

“Well,” Carmilla stood up, “sorry, I just remembered that I have to be _anywhere but here._ ”

“Carmilla, wait!” Ell exclaimed. She looked at Ell in the doorway. “Don’t you want to stay? You know, to see if Danny and Laura _find anything…?”_

She nodded at Carmilla vigorously. Carmilla didn’t look impressed. 

“Yeah, well, if they ‘find anything’ do you really think I want to _be here?_ To listen to them go on and on about it, of course.” 

Ell deflated. “Fine, go.” 

“Catch you all _never._ ” 

“No wait come back,” Danny said dryly as she left. “Ell, don’t worry about her. She’s really not worth your time.” 

“She’s had a rough day,” Ell and Laura said at the same time. They looked at each other. 

Not that Ell cared about Carmilla’s feelings. 

But they both went through that lecture from Maman together. 

“How did you know that?” Laura asked. 

“Because--because--she _always_ seems like she’s had a bad day?” 

Laura seemed to accept the answer. They went back to looking at the computer, and Ell mentally prepared the lie she was going to tell Maman. 

***

“...So why did you invite me here?” Ell asked. 

“Because,” Carmilla grabbed a bottle of wine that she’d filled with blood, “Maman is out and if we have to update each other, we should at least do it in pleasant surroundings.” 

Ell looked up at the clear glass ceiling of the Solarium. Perfect and cloudless. 

“It’s not fair that the sky is so clear when our lives are so...not.” 

“Don’t get poetic on me.” 

She grabbed a glass Carmilla poured, steeling her courage and downing the contents in one gulp. 

“Before you say anything, I don’t hang out with them anymore.” 

“With them?” 

“Laura and Danny. I’ve stopped. I told Danny I was busy and it was starting to freak me out. Not entirely a lie.” 

“Why would you do that?”

Ell shook her head and put the glass down. “Because Maman wants me to keep her updated now. And if I don’t, she’ll...she’ll get mad. So if I stop seeing what they’re investigating, I can’t tell her they found anything.” 

“Lying by omission, Sugar?” 

“I can tell her I still talk to Danny. Just not about _this._ ” 

“Wow, I did not know you had it in you. How’d Red take you…?” 

“She took it fine. She--” Ell paused. “...She told me that she cared about me and she understood if I didn’t want to get in trouble.” 

Carmilla gave her a pointed look. Ell crossed her arms. 

“Don’t pretend _you_ don’t like Laura.” 

“So you’re _admitting_ you like her?” 

“I never said that, but you definitely like Laura!” 

“I will admit annoying, naive teenagers seem to be my weakness. Purely on the physical level.” 

Ell frowned. “I was _not_ annoying. I was charming. I recall you practically _swooning_ when I talked about how women deserved the vote.” 

“And I recall _you_ practically jumping me when I suggested we run away together. I was going to ‘carry you off into the sunset like a princess.’” 

“Yes. You did.” Ell’s gaze softened for a fraction of a second before hardening to diamond. “And now look where we are now.” 

“Sugar--” 

Ell grabbed the wine bottle. “I will be taking this,” she said, “I am going to need it. _Please,_ finish this.” 

She couldn’t even drown herself in a bottle of O negative. 

They saw each other every twenty years for a few months. That was about seven times since Ell was turned. 

Seven times, for a few months. Maybe two years of time spent together sporadically. Out of 142 years. 

It wasn’t as hard as it seemed at first glance to avoid talking about what had happened. 

Maybe it was Laura making her feel weirdly optimistic. Maybe it was both of them getting yelled at by Maman and the lingering feelings of camaraderie. But Carmilla stood. 

“Sugar, I need to ask you something.” 

Ell put down the bottle. “What?” 

“Do you miss me?” 

Ell looked taken aback. “Do I _miss_ you?” 

“The years in between Silas. Do you?” 

Ell was momentarily stunned. She swallowed thickly. 

“...Like an addict,” she finally said, “and I’m not proud of it.” 

Carmilla nodded. But didn’t move. Before they could go any further, Ell’s head perked up. 

“Do you hear that?” 

“What?” 

She walked toward the glass wall, pressing her face against the glass. “Oh my _God._ ” 

“What?” 

“People are _rioting!”_

Carmilla copied her. Down on the ground people were running around with paint guns, arrows, tridents--and fish. A lot of pickled fish. For some reason. 

“Looks like the Zetas and the Summers are pissed at each other. About time.” 

She looked at Ell again. “Were you going to say something?” 

“I need to go.” 

“What are you going to do?” 

“I need to _go._ There are riots. I need to find Danny and make sure she’s safe--I’m a member of the Summer Society now, I need to be down there--” 

“You realize you’re not _really_ a member, right?” 

Ell looked at her. “Then call it keeping up appearances. I’m supposed to be a spy, remember?”

She grabbed the bottle again, taking a deep swig as if it were actually liquid courage and not blood. 

Carmilla grabbed it from her hand as she ran out the door, sat down, looked up at the sky, and finished the rest off. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Cursed paint--come _out!”_

Ell yanked the brush through her hair, removing the last of the paint chips. Or what she _hoped_ was the last of the paint chips. This was the third time she went into the Summer Society’s bathroom to scrub herself. 

_Knock-knock_

“Wait, I’m not done washing my hair!” 

“Can I at least brush my teeth?” Danny asked. 

“Oh!” Ell opened the door. “Go ahead.” 

“You know you kind of scared me,” Danny said, grabbing her toothbrush, “I was afraid you were going to straight up _murder_ that Zeta a couple of days ago.” 

Ell blushed. “Well, you were distracted. He was aiming that trident right at you…” 

“I know,” she mumbled around her toothbrush, “I feel kind of bad about it, if I’m being honest. You’re a freshman. I should be the one protecting you from Zetas.” 

“Believe me, I do not need as much protection as you think.” 

“I know maybe you don’t necessarily _need_ it all the time, I just--I want you to be safe.”

Danny was trying to look at Ell, and she refused to let herself look back. “Thanks?” 

“I mean seriously, between you and Laura sometimes I think I’m going to have a heart--” 

Danny’s phone rang. She spit into the sink, pulling it out of her pocket. She read the text briefly, dropped her toothbrush, and ran out of the room. 

“Danny?” Ell followed her out--something was obviously wrong. “Are you al-- _what_ are you doing?” 

“Hey, help me get this into my backpack?” 

“You’re stealing the fire extinguisher because…?” 

Danny threw her phone at Ell while she worked on cramming the extinguisher into her backpack. 

_Come quick--stuck in library! BRING FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!!!_

“Laura went to the library?At _night?_ ” 

“I have to go get her. So hey,” she opened the utensil drawer in the kitchen, digging through it. “If any of the Summers are looking for me, tell them not to wait up. I might be gone for a few hours depending on how much of a pain the library decides to be…” 

She grabbed what looked to be a very sharp kitchen knife. Satisfied with the choice of weapon, Danny got ready to leave. 

“Danny, wait.” She grabbed her wrist. 

“Ell, I need to go--” 

“Not without me. Danny, this is the library! It’s unpredictable and dangerous!” 

“ _You?_ Ell, no. You are not going for exactly the reasons you have just stated.” 

Ell tightened her grip. “Danny, trust me, you will want me there.” 

“I do _not._ You’re my friend! I care about you, I want to keep you safe, and having you run into the library with me is the exact opposite of that.” 

In any other scenario Ell would have been blushing. But now she was only frustrated. She wished she could just tell Danny ‘I’m a vampire, I _can_ protect you.’ 

“Danny, I can help you. This is too dangerous for you to do alone. _Trust me._ ” 

“Ell, I am a third year Summer Society member, I think I can take care of--” 

“I AM GOING WITH YOU TO THE LIBRARY.” 

Danny held up her hands defensively, and Ell let go. She breathed out. 

“Look, you may look like a badass warrior princess, but you are a human. And this is Silas. There are--there are things here that you can’t possibly understand. And I can’t either,” Ell added hastily, “but the last thing any of us should do is deal with what we can’t understand _alone._ So you can either let me come with you, and we can do this together, or I will follow you without your permission because _I care about you too._ ” 

“You think I look like a ‘badass warrior princess?’”

“...Do not _deflect,_ Danny Lawrence.” 

“You’re not going to let me say no, are you?” 

Ell crossed her arms and jutted her chin out defiantly. 

“Bring a weapon and stay close to me,” Danny conceded, “come on.” 

If Carmilla got to get attached to Laura then hell, Ell deserved this. 

She started to follow Danny, realizing she forgot about that weapon. She was a vampire. She didn’t actually _need_ a weapon.

“Alright Wonder Woman, give me a sec,” she said. 

To appease Danny, she plucked a butter knife from the drawer, looked at it, and followed Danny out the door. 

***

“Okay, but it turned out _fine,_ we snuck out a basement window after the sprinklers came on.” 

“Yeah, with God knows _what_ on your heels!” 

Danny walked toward the camera, putting her hands on her knees. “Ell and I were halfway to the basement when I get another text saying ‘false alarm, managed to escape.’ Meanwhile, you know what we learned?” 

“We learned that at night some of the statues come to life and are woken up by things like phone alarms going off,” Ell said wearily from her spot on the bed. She was holding an ice pack to her head. 

“And _someone_ thought a butter knife would be an appropriate weapon, so it wasn’t exactly easy to fight off the twin hippogriff statues that decided we shouldn’t be there.” 

“Hey, I saved both of our lives!” Ell protested, “I managed to push you out of the way.” She looked at the camera. She shifted slightly in her seat and started narrating again hesitantly. “Then I grabbed Danny’s backpack. I used the fire extinguisher which, I mean, I guess just made them all wet and angry since they were made of stone, _but_ then I hit one so hard I knocked his beak off. The other one backed off and we used the fire extinguisher to break open a _different_ window.” 

“As _touching_ as your sorority sibling bonding is and whatever,” LaFontaine said, “can we get back to the seriously disturbing things we found about Carmilla?” 

“Carmilla?” Ell let go. “Um, I haven’t been keeping myself in the loop, why are we including Carmilla?” 

“She’s totally the one kidnapping the girls,” Danny said. 

“No she is _not!”_ Perry huffed. 

“Then how come every twenty years, _like clockwork,_ Carmilla returns to Silas and girls go _missing?_ Poof. Vanish. Never seen again! Look, I know it sounds crazy, but she’s so strong, and she’s at least eighty years old and she drinks--” 

“Well, yeah, we all knew she was a _vampire_. We knew that since the blood in the milk container, right? Vampire, vampire, vampire, vampire, yeah?” 

Ell choked on nothing. Danny slapped her on the back. “Ell are you okay and _vampire?”_

“You guys knew I was living with a vampire and you didn’t _tell me?”_

“I didn’t know!” 

“Well, I thought you were trying to play it cool and not be all species-ist, you know?” 

“ _Species-ist?”_

“She’s not a vampire,” Perry said gently, “there’s no such thing as vampires. She’s a...light averse octogenarian with an extreme homoglobin deficiency and really good skin.” 

Ell inched her way toward Perry as everyone stared at her. “I’m going to make more hot chocolate,” Perry finished, face paling. 

“Wait for me, I agree with you!” Ell said, following after Perry, “my name is Ell, by the way.” 

“Oh, well, I’m glad Danny brought someone _normal_ into the group.” 

“Ell,” Danny walked toward her. “We literally just had to fight sentient stone likenesses of mythical creatures, and the idea of Carmilla being a vampire seems _ridiculous?”_

“It’s--I mean--monsters are one thing! This is a sentient, humanoid creature thing!” 

“Will you guys shut up for _two seconds!”_ Laura shouted. 

Everyone stopped and looked at her. 

“...Okay, the girls who have gone missing have become full on Lucy from Dracula,” Laura glared at LaFontaine, “and my roommate being a vampire is not _pertinent_ information?” 

“Well, when you put it that way…” 

“And I’m _next!_ She’s making with the charms--” 

“And the seduction eyes.” 

“ _Seduction eyes?”_

Ell offered a mug to Danny while LaFontaine and Laura freaked out. “Cocoa?” 

“Ell, Laura is getting _seduction eyes_ from her evil roommate and you’re offering me _cocoa?”_

She shrunk back. “Sorry?” 

She sat next to Perry on Carmilla’s bed. 

“How do you stop a _vampire?”_

Danny pulled out her phone. “Staking...immolation...decapitation...garlic…” 

“Oh, that won’t work,” Ell piped up, “some stronger vampires can survive decapitation. You have to stuff the severed head with garlic. But otherwise it doesn’t really do anything.” Laura looked at her. “I, uh, read it in a fanfiction once…?” 

“And something about driving an iron needle through her heart,” Danny finished, “you know normally I’m not into this kind of stuff but in the case of _seduction eyes_ I can definitely warm up to the thought.” 

Ell was starting to turn pale, which was an impressive feat considering she was very pale to begin with. 

“No no no!” Perry said, getting up, “we can not immolate everyone Su--LaFontaine thinks is a supernatural creature!” 

“I agree with Perry,” Ell said, standing up, “we don’t have any _proof,_ just a bunch of theories. We’d get laughed out of court.” 

“This is Silas,” Danny said, “the laws kind of don’t apply here, if you couldn’t tell.” 

“I think that’s a bit of an exagger--” 

“Do you really think we’d be the only ones investigating girls disappearing if the police were willing to help, frosh?” LaFontaine asked. 

“So we just abandon the rule of law?” 

“Only nutbars make plans to set people on fire without proof of anything,” Perry snapped. Ell gestured toward Perry. 

“Listen to her, that is right, let’s just...leave Carmilla totally out of this--” 

“Are you _serious?_ We have plenty of proof! Do you have any more of Carmilla’s soy milk, I’m feeling a little _anemic._ ”

“No, Ell and Perry are right,” Laura said, holding up her hands. 

Ell breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Even if we turn Carmilla into a vampire bonfire we wouldn’t know what she did with Betty and the other missing girls. We don’t need her dead--or dead _er_ \--we need her _trapped_. We need a way to get some answers.” 

If Ell’s heart still beat, she was sure that she would have had a heart attack. 

_Kidnap Carmilla OH MY GOD THEY’RE KIDNAPPING CARMILLA I need to warn her--_

“--Ell?” 

“I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THIS!” Ell blurted out. 

“...Ooookay, so Ell is out on this ‘kidnap a vampire’ plan,” Danny said, “anyone else have any ideas?” 

“We could use a lure,” LaFontaine suggested, “you know, something the vampire wants?” 

“Like…?” Laura asked. 

“I was thinking _you._ ” 

***

Laura picked up a spoon. 

“Definitely won’t be effective,” Ell mumbled. 

“Explain to me again how offering yourself as bait to your blood sucking roommate is not the _worst_ plan ever devised by womankind?” 

A stapler. 

“Just slightly better but no,” Ell mumbled again. 

A plastic spatula. 

Ell raised her voice this time. “Do you _want_ Carmilla to laugh herself into a stupor so that we can grab her, because that’s pretty much all you’ll be succeeding in doing...probably. If I had to guess.” 

“Well, maybe instead of talking about how stupid this plan is, you guys could _help._ We’ve been following Carmilla for a week and we still don’t know where or how she’s taking these girls! What other plan do we have?” 

“‘Not having another plan’ is not exactly a ringing endorsement for the current, terrible plan!” 

Perry made one last, valiant effort to get them to abandon the current plan as Ell watched Laura take out a bat. Okay, a little bit better. Then a giant fork--Laura was watching Ell in her peripheral vision now, noticing her silent commentary on the weapons of choice, and she put the fork down when she saw a no. 

“Come on guys, how do we trap a vampire? Oh,” she grabbed her bag. “How do we feel about _bear spray?”_

Danny flopped down next to Ell, making the bed bounce slightly. 

“Okay, _that_ could sting a little,” Ell said, flinching. 

“...My dad is _really_ into personal protection.” 

“I can see that,” LaFontaine said dryly. 

“Oh my God, this is not working. There is no way we can do this--” 

“ _Good._ ” 

“--Without an army,” Laura finished, giving Danny a nasty look. 

“I’m with Danny,” Ell said, “but I _personally_ suggest we forget this entire thing--” 

“You’re free to leave if you don’t want to help!” Laura snapped, “I don’t need you telling me how bad of a plan this is every five seconds, okay? Don’t be a jerk!” 

Danny put a protective arm around her. “Hey, you don’t have to get mad at my freshman.” 

Her freshman. Danny called Ell her freshman. She could ruminate about the moniker later, but she filed it away in her mind all the same. 

“You have been acting really weird though,” Laura continued, “you barely speak when you’re here, you just follow Danny around--” 

“Like a puppy,” LaFontaine added, “what? Specificity helps communication, doesn’t it Perr?” 

“--And now when we actually have a plan, you start trying to talk us out of it.” 

“I just don’t want you to do something _stupid._ ” 

(Which was the truth.) 

“Ell is the only one being sensible right now,” Perry said, “other than myself of course.” 

“So you think _Danny_ is wrong?” LaFontaine asked pointedly, and Ell backtracked. 

“What? No! I would never say Danny is wrong, of course I believe Danny--”

“So you _do_ think Carmilla is a vampire.” 

“I didn’t say that!” 

“So you think Danny is wrong?” 

“Well maybe a few missing girls aren’t worth you all _getting killed!”_ Ell shouted. 

Everyone jumped back, including Danny; the video screen jumped from her shriek. Ell shrunk back. 

“...I think you should probably get back to the house, Ell,” Danny suggested. 

Was Ell imagining things, or did Laura look borderline suspicious of her now…? 

“I...I should...yes…” 

“I’m taking her home since it’s late,” Danny said, “and _you_ ,” Danny glared at Laura, “are not done talking about the insanity of this plan, okay?” 

“Wow, okay mom,” LaFontaine said, rolling their eyes. Perry frowned. 

“You always call me the mom friend, is that a bad thing?” 

“You’re mom friend because you bake things, Perry…” 

It wasn’t until they were walking down the hall that Ell realized she was shaking. Maman could very well decide that this merited an intervention on her part. Which meant they were all in trouble. 

Or she didn’t tell Maman. But if she found out Ell knew, the consequences would be...Ell couldn’t even bring herself to imagine. 

“Hey, are you cold Ells?” 

“...A little,” Ell lied. 

Danny frowned. “I wish I had my jacket to give you, but at least the house has good heating.” 

“Hey, Summer Psycho!” 

Danny stopped, making Ell stop with her; Danny’s hand was still on her shoulder. Kirsch was walking with Sarah Jane and Natalie--who from the looks of it were about ready to disappear again, from the way they were wobbling around. 

And of course…

“Oh, hey Princess.” 

Of course, _Will._

“What are _you guys_ doing up here?” Danny asked. 

“Just came to invite Nerd Hottie and her friends to our party tomorrow night,” Kirsch said, casually flexing while Sarah Jane fell all over him. 

“Yeah, the Zetas are trying to hold out the olive branch. That’s what you Summers are all into, right? ‘Cooperation?’” Will smirked viciously. In many ways, he was the male Carmilla. All of the infuriating qualities, without the physical attraction. Which made her hatred for him decidedly less complicated. 

“Leave us alone you creep,” Danny growled. 

“Aw, it’s too bad,” Will walked past Ell, brushing her shoulder, “would love to see you guys there. You seem familiar,” he turned around and looked at Ell, “haven’t I seen you before?” 

“I do not know what you are talking about.” 

“Didn’t you hit me with a paintball not that long ago?” 

Ell averted her gaze. 

“You did. Well, nice aim. Should teach me a thing or two sometime.” 

“Leave me alone.” 

“Hey, Will bro, we gotta go talk to Laura, remember? The Psychos aren’t worth the headache, bro.” 

Will gave a two fingered salute before walking off. 

“Don’t even listen to them, they are jerks,” Danny said, “Ell? Ells?” 

“...Oh my God,” Ell ran her hands down her face, pressing her back against the wall of the hallway. “I can’t do this.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Danny, I can’t do this,” Ell let herself slide down to the floor, “any of this. I wasn’t made for this, I didn’t want it, I shouldn’t have to deal with it, I’m just...I’m so done. I’m tired and I’m _done._ ” 

Danny stared at Ell for a moment as she buried her head in her hands. Then Danny got down on her knee. 

“Hey, frosh,” Danny said softly, “look at me, come on. Ell, no one thinks less of you because you do not want to help us kidnap vampires. You’re right. You _didn’t_ ask for this. I dragged you into it. Believe me, if I could get Laura out of it I would. I’m _glad_ you want to stay away.” 

“It isn’t just that,” Ell sniffed, “it’s _everything._ ” 

“Listen to me, you are a fantastic new pledge. I mean, come on, look at what you did just a few hours ago! You freaking saved my life. You’re a _hero._ ” 

Ell stopped. She looked up at Danny with wet eyes. “What did you just say?” 

“I said you’re quite the hero.” 

“Me? A hero?” 

“What else do you call someone who fights off two magical, living statues of mythical creatures with a fire extinguisher to save the life of her friend? Pretty damn heroic. You fit right in with the Summer Society, Ell.” 

Ell...a hero. 

Danny just called her a hero. 

Ell knew she was anything but a hero. 

But Danny didn’t know that. 

And maybe Ell could become the hero Danny thought she was. 

Was this how Carmilla felt when they’d first met? 

Ell began to laugh. She laughed until she was crying, grabbing Danny and hugging her. Danny, for her part, took it well. 

“Uh--are you okay…?” 

“I--I’m more than okay I’m just--I’m a _hero._ You called me a hero and you have no idea what that means to me.” 

A hero. For the first time in her entire life, alive or undead. 

She got up and pulled Danny with her. 

It was a nice feeling to be her hero. 

In fact, it was an _incredible_ feeling. 

She didn’t want it to end. 

She’d rather die than lose it, in fact. This sudden feeling of pride. The first pleasant thought Ell had about herself in over a century. 

Suddenly, whatever Maman’s punishment could be was worth it. 

“I want to help you,” Ell said, “whatever it takes. I want to help you. Let’s find those girls together.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Ell had gone from being a totally unhelpful, nervous mess to being a...still nervous mess, actually. But helpful. _Definitely_ helpful. 

“ _Behold!”_

“Is that a _samurai sword?”_

“It’s an antique too.” 

“This might be a _little_ too...sharp for me to be comfortable with though,” Laura suggested, “where did you get it?” 

“Um...you know...super secret Summer Society...secrets.” 

“Right…okay, I’ve been practicing how to look all alluring to a vampire,” Laura said, “what do you think?” 

She pouted her lips, showed her neck, jumped up, and unsheathed her sword. 

“Yeah, no,” Ell said. 

“What do you mean, ‘no?’” 

“I would hardly call what you’re doing alluring. You’re more likely to have Carmilla ask why you look constipated.” 

“Well--well you’re not a vampire, how would _you_ know?” 

Ell opened her mouth to answer, paused for a moment, and finally said: “You’re right, I don’t know. But may I suggest a little less...ahem...posing? Seriously, just be yourself. She apparently thinks that is attractive.” 

“Or she just thinks all the sugar will make my blood extra tasty.” 

Ell tilted her head slightly, observing Laura. “You know, I could give you an outfit.” 

“An ‘outfit?’” 

“I have some clothes. _Theoretically,_ a vampire might, um...like them. They’re period.” 

“‘Period?’” 

“Nineteenth century?” 

“Where do you get your hands on _nineteenth century_ clothes?” 

“Summer Society?” Ell suggested. Laura blew out a breath and sat on the bed. 

“Seriously, I do not understand half the stuff they do. Besides, like, the sports.” 

“Well, you know,” Ell answered flippantly, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. 

“I should have told you sooner, but um...thanks for helping out. You’ve been _weirdly_ helpful lately with helping us find things for this.” 

“You’re welcome,” Ell said, “uh, like I said, the Summer Society is great for that sort of thing.” 

Laura bit her lip. “Hey, can I ask you something?” 

“Sure?” 

“Has Danny ever... _mentioned_ me?” 

Ell frowned. “Um, mention? How so?” 

“Like, how does she refer to me?” 

“By name.” 

“No, I mean does it seem like she _likes_ me?” 

“Sure she does--oh,” Ell took in the leading tone of Laura’s voice. _“_ You mean like, sex right?”

“Oh my _God,_ no--I mean sort of--okay I’m sure you get what I’m asking though right?” 

Ell stared at Laura. Her expression was unreadable, but Laura saw Ell’s brow furrow a little.

“You’re lovely,” Ell finally said, “Danny would be lucky to date you and she probably would be by now if we didn’t have vampires to worry about.” 

“Really?” 

Danny never stopped talking about her. Had pie with her every Tuesday. Looked physically sick at the thought of Laura putting herself in danger. 

“...Yes. Definitely.” 

***

Another privilege of being the daughter of the Dean: free access to Maman’s liquor cabinet. 

She never checked it. It was kind of ridiculous. She had so much that Carmilla was perfectly able to waltz in while Maman was out and grab a bottle. 

Champagne. Perfect. Her favorite corset and leather pants, a bottle of the finest champagne Maman could afford, and a night of infinite possibilities...Carmilla couldn’t wait. All she had to do was navigate a quad full of drunk frat boys without dropping any of her glasses. 

She saw Ell lingering by a table near a bowl of ‘punch’. She sniffed the glass, decided it disgusted her, and dumped it back into the bowl. Carmilla caught her eye. 

“Hey, Sugar.” 

“They’re watching,” Ell said, changing her mind and scooping a cup full of punch out of the bowl and swallowing it in one gulp. She shuddered. 

“Don’t like it, huh?” 

“It’s appalling. My papa would be ashamed of me for drinking this. It is _swill._ ” 

“You know, I’m in a good mood. Maybe once I’m done with _this…_ ” She raised her bottle of champagne teasingly, “I’ll let you have some.” 

Ell narrowed her eyes. “What has got you acting like a decent human being?” 

“The promise of a night to remember,” Carmilla answered, “I’m taking these up to Laura’s room right now. I would rather not waste my time with that flaming piece of driftwood.” 

Ell looked Carmilla up and down. 

“Like what you see, Sugar?” 

“ _Ew._ No, just taking in how...happy you look.” 

Carmilla grinned wider. Ell’s gaze softened. 

“Oh my God, you actually _do_ like her. Why are you telling _me_ this?” 

“Bragging rights.” 

Ell bit her lip. “Carmilla, you shouldn’t go up there.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? She _invited_ me. There is no way I’m not going up there.” 

“Carmilla, I’m telling you, it’s a _bad idea.”_

“You’re just jealous because I have a shot with Laura and there is no way you’re ever going to get anywhere with Red,” Carmilla answered flippantly. 

Ell froze. “That--that isn’t true.” 

“Oh, of course. I’ve been imagining all the heart eyes she’s been giving Laura.” 

“Well, the feeling is mutual, you realize that?” 

“Which I am about to fix. You’re not exactly an expert on getting girls, Sugar.” 

Ell could feel herself turning red. “ _You!”_

“ _Human_ girls.” 

Any guilt Ell had at leading Carmilla into a trap was gone. 

Carmilla was the bad guy. 

Ell was the good guy. 

This was how the world was supposed to work, and for the first time in a _long_ time, Ell felt like she could finally banish those shades of grey. 

“You have fun with that,” Ell said, gritting her teeth, “enjoy your champagne.” 

Carmilla rolled her eyes, and Ell was sure if it wasn’t for the bottle and glasses, she would have flipped her off. 

“Fine. Don’t expect a quickie because you’re all hot and bothered now.” 

“Disgusting,” Ell spat as Carmilla walked away. 

“What was she talking to you about?” 

Ell started downing the punch as Danny made her way across the room toward her. “She--she’s just--she’s a _jerk,_ I can’t even--” 

“I’m just gonna take that out of your hand,” Danny said gently, grabbing Ell’s glass, “you’re starting to break it.” 

Ell looked down and realized her hand was wet. “Oops.” 

“You need to be careful. Never know what the Zetas spike these things with.” 

“I think I can handle a little punch...or a lot of punch, you know, depending on how the rest of this night goes.” 

Danny didn’t say anything. 

“And by ‘punch’ you know I mean, like, the physical punching Carmilla kind right?” 

“...Where did she go?” 

“To talk to Laura, I guess?” 

‘What? No! That isn’t the plan! She’s supposed to come down _here_ with Carmilla and then lure her _away_ so we can trap her!” 

“Well maybe--” 

“I mean did you see her? With the--the corset and the alcohol and the makeup and the _seduction eyes--_ ” 

“Danny, I’m pretty sure those were just her normal eyes--” 

“WE NEED TO GO FIND LAURA.” 

She grabbed Ell’s wrist. She looked down at Danny’s hand. “Wait, right _now?”_

“Yes! No time!” 

Danny and Ell going up against Carmilla on their own. Ell was a lot younger. Their chances were not very good. 

“Danny, _wait._ I’m sure Laura will--will text us, remember? The plan? The very good plan?” 

“It is _not_ a good plan!”

“But--but it’s still _the plan--_ ” 

“Well, I’m changing the plan,” Danny pulled out her cellphone, “text the rest of them and tell them to be ready for me. We’re _going in._ ”

Ell imagined this was how Danny felt with Laura. Always running after her as she charged into life threatening situations with increasing frustration. 

***

“ _You._ GET AWAY FROM HER!” 

And, just like that, Carmilla’s night was ruined. 

She could have taken the giant no problem. In fact, she _did_ take her no problem. She pushed Danny off of her in two hot seconds, punching her in the face and making her stumble. LaFontaine was knocked down into a table, and Perry Crocker wasn’t even trying. She was pretty sure she broke _something_ of Will’s (and honestly she didn’t really care) and Kirsch was more into threatening her than actually _fighting_ her. 

“Hey! Hey, come at me bro!” 

But just when Carmilla was getting ready to finish Danny off, she felt herself getting tackled a _second_ time. 

“DON’T TOUCH HER!” 

For a split second Carmilla and Ell stared at each other, Ell hovering over her, hands pinning her to the bed. _Not_ how Carmilla normally ended up beneath Ell in bed. 

“Ell, what the _fuck_ are you _mmph!”_

“Tape! Tape! Tape for the vampire _please?”_ Ell exclaimed, with a hand firm on Carmilla’s mouth. 

“Duct tape!” Laura shouted. She scrambled for it, then grabbed the rope for good measure, throwing it to Ell. 

“We need to do something!” Danny exclaimed. LaFontaine managed to sit up from their spot on the floor next to Perry. 

“...I don’t know, frosh seems to be holding her own.” 

“I’m not sorry for this, I’m not sorry for this, I’m not sorry for this!” Ell repeated, smacking a line of tape firmly on Carmilla’s mouth. She managed to maneuver her until she could throw her into the rolling chair, which Laura had enough presence of mind to vacate. “A _little_ help!” 

“Ell, you are _incredible!”_ Danny said, helping tie Carmilla to the chair, “how did you _do_ that? You took on a vampire single handedly!” 

“Oh...you know...adrenaline…” 

“Garlic!” 

LaFontaine started throwing garlic over her. Perry looked over Kirsch and Will before hastily shooing them off with strict orders to at least _think_ about visiting the infirmary. 

“LaFontaine, I told you garlic doesn’t work!” 

“Well, I did my own research and some of the sources I found said otherwise!” 

Perry winced. “Be _careful,_ you don’t want to cut off her circulation--” 

“Perr, she’s a vampire, she doesn’t _have_ circulation,” LaFontaine pointed out, collapsing onto Carmilla’s bed. 

“She is _not_ a vampire!” 

“Guys, can we not fight and focus on how _awesome_ this is?” Laura said. She rolled Carmilla squarely into the center of frame, turning her camera back on. “Vampire CAPTURED!” 

Ell kept her hands on Carmilla’s shoulders; Carmilla was ignoring all of them. All she did was stare at the ground, seething. 

“Even though I was unable to text for help, in an unbelievably lucky series of events, Danny got worried about my crazed plan and came to check on me.” Laura smiled at Danny. “Thanks. How’s your eye?” 

She shrugged. “Better, now that you’re safe.” 

Ell coughed. 

“Oh! _And_ Ell apparently is quite the fighter--we thought Carmilla was totally going to murder Danny until she burst in and just went _psycho_ on her! Seriously,” it was Ell’s turn to have Laura smile at her. “Danny was right, you _are_ pretty heroic.” 

“Told you guys. Ells is way more athletic than she looks.” 

Ell shrugged, blushing profusely. Carmilla made a muffled noise that sounded like a groan. She narrowed her eyes. 

“Also, she smashed my head into a table, not that anyone cares,” LaFontaine said dryly, taking Perry’s offered ice pack. “And I’m pretty sure she broke that Will guy’s clavicle. I can’t believe they went back to the party.” 

 

“Well, bumps and bruises--and the dubious legality of holding someone hostage in their own room aside-- _I_ think this is cause for a little celebration guys. We did it! And,” Laura leaned in closer to Carmilla--Ell went to her preferred spot next to Danny-- “now that her reign of terror and flirting is over we’ll unpod SJ and Natalie, we’ll find Betty, and everything--” 

They were interrupted by and ear piercing shriek. Ell covered her ears reflexively, moving herself closer to Danny. Everyone stared at the door. 

“ _What_ was that?” Laura said. She turned back around. “We caught her fair in square! There is not allowed to be some new horrible thing!” 

“Laura!” Kirsch burst open the door, breathing heavily. “You gotta come quick. It’s SJ and Natalie. I think someone’s trying to take them, I can’t find Natalie and I think SJ--I think SJ’s _dead!_ ” 

Carmilla merely looked at Ell, as if daring her to do something else. 

***

Ell was shaken--visibly shaken. Out of all of them, it seemed like she was taking the news about SJ and Natalie the worst. 

“Hey, Ells, if you need to take a--” 

“ _No,”_ Ell said, “I want to help. I can help,” she took a deep breath. “LaFontaine, open the door.” 

“Whatever, captain. Alright,” LaFontaine twisted the doorknob. “...Yeah, SJ’s room is the same as Natalie’s. Card. And goo.” 

“Great,” Danny said, “so...what now?” 

“We science the shit out of this stuff,” LaFontaine answered. They bent down, scraping the goop into a vial they brought. “I can figure out what’s in this.” 

“You can?” Ell asked, looking at them. 

“Yeah. Microscope to start. I’m a bio major, this stuff will be easy.” 

“Wish I had thought of that,” Ell breathed, “let’s go back to the others.” 

She trudged out of the room. Danny put a protective arm around her. LaFontaine hung back, presumably because they could tell Ell wanted space. 

“Ells,” Danny said, “you know this isn’t your fault, right?” 

Ell looked like she’d been hit.

“Because come on, how could you have known? You were kidnapping Carmilla to try and stop it. None of us had any idea there might have been more people involved.” 

She shook her head, breath coming in shaky puffs. Ell hugged herself lightly. “I’m supposed to be a hero,” Ell said, “I couldn’t protect them.” 

“I know, Ell, but you were doing your best--” 

“I promised myself I would help and I just let them _die._ Like a coward.” 

“You’re not making any sense, Ells. You can’t beat yourself up because other people decide to do bad things.” 

“That’s a weird thing to say coming from you,” Ell said, “you take responsibility for _everybody._ ” 

“...I _try_ to save everybody. Look, when we’re fighting evil vampires doing who knows what to innocent girls, and we’re the _only_ ones trying to do anything about it...you can’t get down on yourself when things go sideways. Because at least we’re the ones _trying._ Evil people are always going to be evil. Only thing to do is keep being good.”

“Evil people…” Ell let her hands fall to her sides. “Danny?” 

“Yes?” 

“Thank you.” 

They stopped in front of Laura’s door, and Ell took a deep breath before grasping the doorknob and swinging it open. 

“We found cards in SJ and Natalie’s rooms,” Ell said. 

“And goo,” Danny added. LaFontaine walked in behind them and started talking about experimenting on it. 

“If there plan was take both of them, maybe what happened to Sarah Jane was an accident?” Danny suggested. Kirsch’s eyes widened. 

Ell backed away from him. 

“She _fell,_ ” Kirsch said, “we were watching the fire from the third floor balcony, and she kept asking to go to the party, and I kept telling her ‘babe, we’re at the party’ and then...and then,” Kirsch shut his eyes tight. “We realized Natalie was missing, and everyone went to look for her, except for SJ because I was worried about her--” 

She tuned him out, sitting down on Laura’s bed. Ell’s head was swimming. She felt like she couldn’t breathe--even though she didn’t even _need_ to breathe--and she couldn’t stop staring at Carmilla. She only followed along vaguely as Kirsch talked about how Sarah Jane must have fallen out of a window.

If she paid too much attention, she would have gone right back to being the hyperventilating mess she was in the hallway. When Kirsch got up and started shaking Carmilla, she was startled back into the conversation. 

“What did she ever do to you!” 

“Kirsch, _don’t!”_

She was off the bed and pushing Kirsch away before anyone had time to do anything. Ell turned in a slow circle, shrinking at the looks she was getting from everyone. 

“I...she wasn’t there,” she said weakly. 

Carmilla was still refusing to look at any of them. Ell swallowed thickly and helped Kirsch up from the floor. 

She didn’t know why she cared. Ell was the one that tackled Carmilla and tied her up. But seeing Kirsch grabbing her like that…

“Kirsch, come on,” Danny said, grabbing him. Instead of being angry, Kirsch gave her a hug. 

“Thanks Psycho,” he mumbled, “you know, a time like this a dude needs to be with his bros!” 

(Which made Ell feel horrible, considering Will most likely had something to do with it…) 

As soon as he left, Laura collapsed on the chair next to Carmilla. 

“This is such a _mess,_ ” Laura groaned, “what do we do _now?”_

Carmilla sounded like she tried to laugh, and ended up coughing. 

“Yeah, that is a dilemma,” LaFontaine remarked as Danny started locking the door. 

“ _I_ didn’t want to kidnap her to begin with,” Perry said defensively, “don’t look at me!” 

“We can’t let her go, she might still be involved!” 

“And just to throw this out there,” LaFontaine added, “she took down at least three of us before frosh over here went all Buffy on her. And she looks kind of _angry._ ” 

“Right. Right,” Laura said, “no untying the angry vampire.” 

“What are we going to do, hold her hostage in your dorm room? I mean,” Perry crossed her arms with a huff, “I know this is _Silas,_ but someone is bound to notice if we keep her trussed up in here for God knows how long!” 

Ell looked at her. “Because Silas is _so good_ with kidnappings?” 

“Ooooh,” LaFontaine held out their hand for a high five before Perry threw her a glare that made them pull their hand back. “...I _could_ take her to the bio lab. I bet there’s all sorts of things we could find out through some minimally invasive probing--” 

“Oh God, _no,_ ” Ell interrupted, shivering a little. Everyone looked at her. “I mean, we should question her before we start poking her with needles?” 

“How about the Summer Society Department?” Danny suggested, “we could use the storage room in the back--” 

“No! She’s our only lead, and she is staying right where she is until she tells us what’s going on and how she’s involved.” 

“I have to agree with Laura,” Ell said, “I mean, what if someone uses the storage room and finds her? She’ll kill whoever unties her, and I mean, if it’s Mel…” Ell swallowed uneasily at the thought. Danny sighed, silently agreeing. 

“Look, if we get caught, you can blame it all on me,” Laura relented, “the worst they could do is expel me and I mean, that doesn’t seem like the worst thing in the world at this point…” 

“Until they start your tribunal,” LaFontaine said. 

“My what now?” 

“You really need to read your student handbook,” Perry said. 

Laura opened her mouth for a moment before shaking her head. “Okay, okay, _focus_ guys, just--” She motioned for them all to come closer. Ell rolled Carmilla gently out of the way so she could be part of the huddle, and Perry covered her ears.

“If we are going to break her,” Laura hissed, “we need to _girl the hell up._ United front. No mercy. Am I right?” 

Everyone else nodded curtly. 

Ell took a few steps back as Laura wiggled her fingers, preparing to take the tape off. Everyone got out of the huddle, and Laura got closer to Carmilla, her voice low and serious. 

“Okay, _vampire._ We know you’ve been stalking those girls and we know...you’re a vampire! So the sooner you ‘fess up and tell us what you know the better this is gonna be for you because we have…” Laura gestured vaguely before settling on, “a _spatula!_ And--and a stapler, and we are not afraid to use them so you better start singin’! _”_

“Uh, Laura, you forgot…” LaFontaine motioned to her mouth. 

“Wait, wait, we’re taking the tape off _now?”_ Ell asked. 

“What did you think we were going to do, have her blink morse code at us?” 

“But--” 

“Now or never!” Laura said. 

Ell took a few steps toward the door. Her cover was totally about to be blown. There was _no way_ Carmilla wasn’t going to call Ell out as soon as the tape was off. 

Honestly, she probably should have planned for this. 

“Maybe _this_ will get you talking!” 

With a swift yank the tape was off. Carmilla’s discomfort was betrayed by the slightest twitch of her lip, and everyone leaned back. Her jaw worked back and forth. Satisfied that she hadn’t tried to bite off Laura’s hand, she gained a little more nerve. “So. Spill. How did two more girls end up kidnapped and murdered when we’ve got you?” 

Carmilla didn’t answer at first. She looked around the room. She caught Ell’s eye and Ell bit her lip, rubbing her hands together nervously, preparing to viciously deny whatever she was about to say. Carmilla looked back at Laura. 

“Because I didn’t _do it,_ you dimwits,” Carmilla growled. 


	6. Chapter 6

“...Well, maybe you have some kind of vampiric accomplice or something!” 

Carmilla glared so hard at Ell that she would not have been surprised if she’d accidentally set her on fire. 

After Carmilla didn’t give her up she started inching closer to the group again. Carmilla rolled her eyes. 

“Do I strike you as the type of person that plays well with others?” 

“That’s true,” Ell piped up, unable to stop herself, “she really doesn’t.” 

“Then what were you doing following girls around at parties?” Laura asked. 

“I’m a popular girl, I get a lot of invitations. Not everyone has to resort to bush league investigative journalism to get their kicks,” she looked at Ell again, “or piggybacking off your hot sorority sister.” 

Predictably, Ell sputtered. “This is _not_ about me! This is about _you_ and what you have done with these girls!” 

“And _I don’t know,_ because I was _not involved._ Being a vampire does not make me a kidnapper.” 

“She’s got us there,” LaFontaine said, “assuming she’s up to something because she’s--” 

“An undead fiend from the pits of _Hell?”_

“Don’t forget a jerk!” Ell added. 

Carmilla was going to kill Ell later. She had warned her before--she realized as much now--but Ell was enjoying having to play along a little too much. 

“I’m from Eastern Europe,” Carmilla corrected, “...but potato, potah-toe.” 

Someone knocked at the door. Everyone ran to handle it, and after that proceeded to talk as if Carmilla wasn’t there. 

Which was how Carmilla ended up being told they were going to starve her until she confessed before Laura slapped another piece of tape over her mouth. 

As if that was actually going to happen. 

They all filtered out of the room after that--predictably Danny was the last one to leave, with Ell lingering by the door for her. Carmilla thought Ell might sneak in once Laura was asleep. She didn’t. 

She _did_ show up the next morning. 

“Welcome to day one of Operation Stupid Obstinate Vampire Roommate Won’t Talk! Unfortunately I have to attend classes, so covering the morning shift today will be…” 

She ran to the door, throwing it open, and standing in the doorway was a very surprised Ell. “Um, hi Laura,” Ell held up a bag, “I brought breakfast courtesy of Danny?” 

“Oh my gosh _yes!”_ Laura grabbed it and pulled out a muffin. She turned around. “Hungry, Carmilla? _Too bad._ ” 

“So you need to go to class?” 

“Right! Okay,” Laura mumbled her instructions around her muffin, “she’s all tied up, so basically just keep an eye on her. You’re free to help yourself to anything in the refrigerator, and do _not_ let anyone in that isn’t me, Perry, LaF, or Danny. And if she’s ready to talk, make sure the camera is _on._ Think you can handle it?” 

“Sure,” Ell rolled up her sleeves, “I’m ready.” 

“...Wait, are those Danny’s clothes?” 

Carmilla raised her eyebrows as Ell blushed. 

“Oh! Yeah. Um, I said I liked her pants and she let me try them. I had to roll up the pants a little bit, but like...they’re nice?” 

“They are! You look good in purple.” 

Ell smiled gratefully. “Well, good luck today in class!” 

“Thanks, I need it. I have a test.” 

“What’s it on?” 

“ _I don’t even know._ ” 

Ell winced sympathetically as Laura crammed the last of the muffin in her mouth and bolted out the door. Ell closed it, locked it, and turned to face Carmilla with her back against it. Carmilla managed to maneuver with her feet until she was facing her. 

For a moment they stared at each other. Finally, Ell walked over, turned off Laura’s camera, and removed Carmilla’s tape. 

“Carmilla.” 

“...You look like a fucking skittle.” 

Ell frowned. “Hello to you too.” 

She sat on the bed. Ell looked at Carmilla contemplatively. Carmilla raised an eyebrow. 

“Well?” 

“What?” 

“Isn’t this the part where you untie me…? Being tied up isn’t exactly _fun._ ”

Carmilla could almost see something inside Ell snap. Her eyes widened for a fraction of a moment, and her hands curled around the edge of Laura’s bed. 

“Being tied up ‘isn’t fun?’” She asked softly. 

“Uh...no?” 

“You know they tied me up?” 

Carmilla leaned back a little in her seat. “This is not the time--” 

“Do you remember that they _tied me up?”_

“ _Yes,_ I remember that. Of course I fucking remember.” 

“How does it feel to be the one getting kidnapped?” 

“You seem to be operating under the false premise that until last night, I thought you were _wrong_ to complain.” 

“Yeah, well, excuse me for not believing you,” Ell said, her grip on Laura’s sheets tightening, “when all you do is call me a ‘pissbaby’, and tell me I need to get a grip.” 

“Are you going to untie me or _not?”_

Ell tilted her head slightly. “...No,” she said, “I am not.” 

Carmilla blinked. “Are you _insane?”_

“No. You are staying here until you agree to help us.” 

“What the fuck is _wrong_ with you?” 

“Me? _Me?”_ Ell got up. “There isn’t anything wrong with me. I’m going to help them find those girls. I’m going to do the right thing for once in my life.” 

“You are not doing the right thing, you are doing the insane thing--” 

“I’ve been thinking about what Danny has said. She said some people are just--are just bad,” Ell started pacing around the room, looking down at her hands. “Some people are just bad, and some people are just good, and we need to decide which one we are. Well, I’ve decided. I want to be _good,_ Carmilla. I want to be good and I am going to be.” 

“Sugar, you are a vampire. We are vampires. We transcend petty human morality.” 

“You sound like Maman.” 

“Well, she’s been around a lot longer than us. Not everything she tells us is wrong just because we don’t _like_ it.” 

“It may be right for you, but not for me. I’m _different._ I’ve figured it out. I’m _different._ ” 

“Oh, I’d love to hear your rationale on _that._ How exactly do you plan on taking on a millennia old vampire because you’re ‘oh so special?’” 

“Maman chose you,” Ell said. She kept pacing, shaking her head. “She chose you, and she chose Mattie, and she chose Will. We’ve both seen Maman kill people and not turn them. But there was something about _you.”_

“And…?” 

“She didn’t choose me!” Ell finally stopped her pacing, looking right at her. “ _You_ did.” 

Carmilla grinded her teeth. “If you honestly think I _wanted_ that to happen to you--” 

“No. I mean Maman didn’t choose me because she saw something in me. You were already bad before you were a vampire. _That_ must be why Maman picked you. But she only turned me because it would hurt _you._ She did it to punish _you_. I’m not like the rest of you because I was the one she didn’t plan! Don’t you see?” Ell spread out her arms. “I’m the one that can help stop her! I’m the wildcard!” 

Carmilla had never seen Ell look so unhinged. She was smiling, almost grinning, looking down at her hands. It was almost heartbreaking. 

“Sugar--Ell--listen to me,” Carmilla said gently, “this delusion that you are some sort of chosen one meant to finally stop Maman will only succeed in getting _everyone_ killed or worse. Even Mattie has told me she tried and failed to kill her. Just let me go and we can pretend this never happened.” 

Ell laughed. “What are you implying, that you’d tell? There is no _way_ you’d tell. You’d get in more trouble than I would anyway.” 

“How would you figure that?” 

“You don’t think I watch Laura’s videos? I have. I know you stole Maman’s batwing charm to give to Laura. You tell Maman, you’re going down with me.” 

Carmilla narrowed her eyes. “You would not dare.” 

Ell walked closer to her, until she was looking down at Carmilla. “Try me.” 

Carmilla wasn’t patient by nature, and being tied up had already wore it thin. She gave up on being nice and switched tactics. 

“You’re acting like you’re such a hero now, but you know what? _You_ know just as much as I do. Why don’t you tell them?” 

Ell didn’t answer. 

“I know why. Because you’re scared to admit you’re a vampire. Because you know how they’re going to react.” 

“Shut up,” Ell spat, walking away. 

“How did you feel when Sarah Jane and Natalie died? Guilty? Because if you had told them what you knew, maybe they could have stopped it--” 

“Shut _up.”_

“--But you can’t feel that guilty if you’re still pretending you’re human. You want to talk about how you’re _so much_ better than me, Sugar? You’re bending over backwards to lie about what you are because you can’t stand the thought of your Knight in Shining Gym Shorts rejecting you. You’re doing exactly what I did to you. You and I are a lot more alike than you think--” 

“SHUT UP!” 

Ell raked a hand through her hair, eyes shut tight. “Stop trying to confuse me,” Ell said, “I am the good guy and you are the bad guy. Because--because--” 

Carmilla smirked viciously. “Because?” 

Ell opened her eyes. 

“You only cared enough about me to try and run away. _I_ care enough about Danny to stay and fight.” 

She grabbed a fresh piece of duct tape. “Now shut up unless you’re ready to help.” 

“You are making a big--” 

Ell slapped the tape over her mouth. 

*** 

“...Hello viewers,” Laura said, “I’m just taking over Ell’s shift. Anything to report before you go Ell?” 

“She is being as stubborn as she’s been the past eight days,” Ell said, getting up and letting Laura sit in the chair, “although she _did_ spit at me, so like, she _did_ open her mouth.” 

Laura folded her hands in her lap, smiling at the camera. “Well, then welcome to day nine of Operation: Stupid Obstinate Vampire Roommate Won’t Talk...which,” Laura grabbed the mug on the table, “is all she has to do and we’ll totally give her this nice yummy blood to drink.” 

Carmilla didn’t respond. 

“Seriously, Carmilla, _drink,_ ” Ell said, shoving the mug in her face, “it can’t be healthy for you to go _nine days_ without eating.” 

“Yeah, what she sai--” 

There was a knock on the door. Laura ran to it, forgetting to put down the mug of blood. She opened it just enough that she could peek her head out. 

“Um, hey. No, no, Carmilla isn’t here, she got tickets to some angry existentialist...punk rock...fight club thing you know how it is. What’s this? Oh. Um...I’m on a tomato juice cleanse. Works wonders--” 

Laura heard a sharp gasp. “ _Anyway_ I will let her know you stopped bye so...bye!” She closed the door. 

“What the Slytherin was that--oh my God, Carmilla!” 

Ell was gripping Carmilla’s shoulders as she seized, looking at her fearfully. She stood, looking at Laura. “You idiot, come over here, she needs _blood!”_

Instead of waiting, Ell ripped the mug from Laura’s hands; blood spilled out onto her blouse, and Ell ignored it. “You are not dying you idiotic vampire, come on.” 

“Please don’t die, please don’t die,” Laura mumbled, as Ell tipped the glass into Carmilla’s open mouth. She gently cupped her chin, massaging her throat until Carmilla swallowed and started to still. 

“Carmilla…?” Ell said softly, smoothing some hair out of her face, “please tell me you’re okay.” 

Laura tilted her head. Okay. That seemed weirdly personal. 

“Dammit,” Carmilla choked out. 

Tears started to prick at the corners of Ell’s eyes. “We are both such _idiots._ ” 

And then Laura’s hand flew to her mouth when Ell grabbed Carmilla’s face and kissed her. It was hard and brief, before Ell opened her eyes and realized what she’d done. She pushed Carmilla away and stood up. 

“Wow, _brilliant_ espionage skills, Miss Bond,” Carmilla said dryly, looking at her, “way to stay undercover.” 

“What in the name of Skrillex was _that?”_

“I--we--I mean--we bonded…?” 

“Are you _licking blood off of your lips?”_

Ell froze, tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth where a droplet of blood still was. 

“You are a vampire too,” Laura stated. 

“Um, don’t you think you’re jumping to conclus--” 

Laura grabbed a spatula and pointed it at her. “BACK UP UNDEAD FIEND!” 

Ell held up her hands. 

“Oh my God, it makes sense. It explains how you’re so freakishly strong, it explains how you know about all this old stuff--it explains why you’re always so nervous! You being all undercover and stuff! And you two are,” Laura waved her spatula between Carmilla and Ell, “ _together._ You DO have a vampiric accomplice! _”_

“We are not together!” Ell and Carmilla said at the same time. 

“I mean, we still have sex sometimes--” 

“ _Not,_ helping!” Ell squeaked, “Carmilla, tell Laura I’ve been on their side this entire time!” 

“Do I have any particular incentive for that?” 

“I’m on your side!” Ell insisted, “I swear!” 

“Then why didn’t you tell us?” 

“Because if I told you I was a vampire I was afraid you’d do something crazy like maybe _brandish a spatula at me?_ Plus, I’m friends with Danny. She is not exactly open minded about vampires--” 

“With good reason!” 

“See? _See?_ Of course I didn’t say anything!” 

Laura backed Ell up with the spatula until Ell fell down onto the bed. “Did you know what was going to happen to Natalie and SJ?” 

“No! I had no idea that was going to happen! And if I _was_ evil, why would I leave Carmilla tied up when I’m alone with her while you’re at class for the past _eight mornings?”_

“How do I know you haven’t been untying her when I’m not around?” 

“Because then I would have given her blood so she wouldn’t have a _seizure?”_

“Believe me, despite what you’ve been led to believe Ell is not exactly my biggest fan,” Carmilla said weakly. 

“ _See?_ Me being evil wouldn’t make sense!” 

“Well--well-- _urgh!”_ Laura threw her spatula over her shoulder. “ _Nothing_ makes any sense!” 

She collapsed in her chair again. Ell eyed the mug of blood. “Um...Carmilla, would you like some more?” 

Carmilla blinked at Ell. “Fine.” 

Ell rolled the chair back over. Laura fed her the blood. 

“Where did you get that?” 

“Um, LaF got it from the campus hospital. Said it was for an experiment on hematophagy.” 

Ell eyed it hungrily. Laura looked at her. “Look, do you want any?” 

“Me?” 

“I mean, Carmilla ate the rest but you can have the...remnants--” 

Ell grabbed it and started licking up and down the sides of the mug. Laura wrinkled her nose in disgust. 

“ _Ew.”_

“I’m sorry, I haven’t,” Ell wiped her mouth with her hand, looked down, and licked the remnants of blood off, “had human blood in _weeks._ I’ve been trying to be ethical.” 

“Why aren’t you spazzing out on us then?” 

“I, uh...fish.” 

“ _Fish?”_

“There’s a stream in the woods around the school. I drink fish blood. Yes.” 

Carmilla snorted. 

“What was _that?”_ Ell huffed. 

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just...I’ve seen you try and fish before, Sugar.” 

“Well I’m sorry, not everyone can be _cool_ like a pan--” 

“ _Alright,_ can we focus on more important things like the fact that you’re both _vampires_ involved in _kidnapping?”_

“Carmilla has been involved in more kidnapping than me,” Ell pointed out. 

“Yeah, but _you’re_ the one that worked on Betty--” 

_“YOU’RE THE ONE THAT TOOK BETTY?”_

Laura lunged at Ell and started to shake her, laying on her stomach in Carmilla’s lap. Carmilla looked amused by the whole chain of events. Ell, for her part, grabbed Laura’s wrists to effortlessly hold her back. 

“Look just--just--listen, _stop!”_

“You took my best friend, for months you’ve been pretending to be my _friend_ and you’ve known the _whole time--_ ” 

“I don’t know where they took her! And instead of attacking me, maybe we can work on a solution for _finding her!”_

Laura kept trying to attack Ell until she was too tired to keep going. She scrambled off of Carmilla, breathing heavily with her hair in disarray. 

“You know, the experience of being held captive by a gaggle of nitwits for something I didn’t even have the pleasure of doing is not exactly fun, but I have to admit it isn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be,” Carmilla remarked. 

Laura took a deep breath, clenching her fists to control her anger. “Look, if either of you want me to believe you didn’t do it, you have _got_ to explain how you know each other and _you,_ ” Laura looked pointedly at Carmilla, “have got to explain what you were doing at those parties. Cause the night that I caught you it sure looked like you were going to eat me.” 

“She didn’t want to eat you,” Ell said with a sigh. 

Carmilla glared at her. “What? We’re all being honest now.” 

“Is that true?” 

“...Did you really think I was trying to eat you?” Carmilla asked. 

“Well if you weren’t trying to eat me, then what were... _oh,”_ Laura took in Carmilla’s expression. Her eyes widened. She looked away from her, amusement crossing her face. “Oh. So, when you were hitting on me, you were _actually_ hitting on me.” 

“Yes,” Carmilla sighed, “and you were luring me into a trap.” 

Laura smiled slightly. “Well...uh, sorry about that…?” Laura said, looking at Ell. 

“Believe me, I don’t care,” Ell said dryly. 

“Yeah, she wants to _eat_ Danny anyway.” 

“Not true!” Ell yelped. Laura looked taken aback. 

“So this is…?” She gestured vaguely between them. 

“I did not kiss her, she kissed me.” 

“And I have...no idea why I kissed her,” Ell said, sitting down on Carmilla’s bed. She lowered her voice to a mumble. “I never know _why_ I do it…I told myself I was going to fight her and as soon as she’s _hurt_ I break down like an idiot…” 

“Well...wow...this is...complicated,” Laura said slowly. “Look, even if I believe you, that doesn’t explain why you were at those parties. Or what Ell _did_ with Betty. Or how you know all of the missing girls. If you want us to trust you, you have _got_ to tell us your side of the story.” 

“Our side…?” Carmilla looked at Ell. 

“Well, I have no reason not to tell them everything,” Ell said, “you might as well do it with me.” 

Carmilla sighed. “ _Fine._ Buckle up Creampuff. We’re going to be in for a long night...or a Wednesday afternoon.” 


	7. Chapter 7

“You know, your need to document everything borders on the pathological,” Carmilla said dryly. 

“Think of it as being for posterity?” 

“Posterity doesn’t care--I should know, I live in it.” 

“Carmilla, it’s a good idea,” Ell interrupted, “Laura can just use this video to show the others. Keeps us from having to repeat our tragic backstories.” 

“...I suppose.” 

Ell was was sitting next to Carmilla now. Her hands were clutching each other so tightly in her lap that her nails dug half moon crescents into them. 

“Come on guys. Convince me neither of you guzzled Betty like a slurpee. Tell the world.” 

They looked at each other. 

“Carmilla, you’re older, you go first. I’ll pick it up when you get to the part with me.”

“Lovely.” Carmilla took a breath and began to speak. “I was born Mircalla, daughter of the Count Karnstein in Styria, a duchy of Austria in 1680. Austria was embroiled in the great war against the Ottoman Empire, but such things meant little to a wealthy girl. When I was eighteen I attended a ball where I was murdered--” 

“Whoa, _murdered?_ Whoa,” Laura waved her hands, “you can’t tell it like some _boring_ history lesson. This is _dangerous._ This is _exciting._ This is flashback material and I know exactly what we need!” 

“Laura, what are you…?” 

And that was when Laura broke out the puppets. 

“Okay, I’m ready guys!” Laura exclaimed from the floor. 

“You don’t think this makes light of our tragic backstories?” 

“Oh, come on! Now, okay, you were murdered…” 

Laura was putting on an entire puppet show. Complete with voices. Ell just stared at the camera and squirmed uncomfortably as Carmilla continued. 

“Mother raised me.” 

“Who?” 

“Not my real mother. The mother I knew in death. I knew nothing of her except that she was very old, and very wise, and had pried apart the jaws of death to enact my rescue.” 

Ell scoffed. “‘Rescue.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know you don’t exactly consider being a vampire necessarily ‘better’, Sugar. Mother and I…” 

It made Ell angry to listen to her. To listen to Carmilla speak about Maman with gentle affection. How could she? 

And then Carmilla started in on the ritual. Ell’s hands went to her thighs where they kneaded and pressed, kneaded and pressed, kneaded and pressed as she tried to alleviate the growing anxiety making her feel lightheaded. 

“Mother would arrange for me to meet a young girl. I’d be abandoned at a ball or there’d be a carriage wreck and some kind stranger and his ward--like a niece or a daughter--would be gallant enough to take me in. Pretty soon she and I would become fast friends. Inseparable. But of course my new friend would fall ill. Strange behavior, weakness of the mind. Pretty soon I would return to my mother in search of my next friend.” 

Laura sat up. “ _Not_ exactly making a case for not being a kidnapper here.” 

“I wasn’t an abductor, I was a _lure._..and that’s how I met Ell.” 

She looked at Ell and they locked eyes. 

“I think it’s my turn to tell the story,” Ell said, “you’ve been talking this entire time.” 

“Oooh, wait, let me find a better puppet for you--” 

“ _Please,_ for the love of _God,_ no puppets,” Ell interrupted. 

Laura pouted. “Fine. Go ahead.” 

Ell paused. 

“Well?” 

“I’m sorry, I just...I’ve never been able to tell anyone before. Everyone I could tell already knows.” 

“Just start at the beginning, then.” 

Carmilla was watching Ell curiously. Ell felt strangely relieved knowing that she was about to reveal everyone. 

“I was born Elisabeth in 1854. I was an only child, Mama dying in childbirth, and Papa was a trader who often left me in the care of household servants.” 

“You’re stalling,” Carmilla grumbled. 

“You got to start with that,” Ell said defensively, moving on. “...Papa was very religious and I was a devout Catholic as well. As I became older I...it was hard. I always knew I didn’t want to marry a man when I grew up. But everywhere I turned were people telling me that the way I felt made me evil. Or at the very least sick. I’m sure you could only imagine what it must have felt like to be a lesbian in the 1800s compared to the way it is today…” 

Laura winced sympathetically. “It isn’t exactly great today either.” 

“Even before I was a vampire, part of me still felt like I was monster,” Ell said softly, looking down at the floor. But then she looked up. “Until I met Carmilla.” 

Carmilla was staring down at the floor. 

“It started the same as the others, didn’t it?” Ell asked Carmilla. 

“Yes,” Carmilla answered. Ell nodded. 

“Papa and I were on a trip when we found her. The victim of a carriage wreck. I was…” Ell swallowed. “I was captivated from the moment I saw her. We became best friends. Inseparable.” 

“It all started out the same,” Carmilla said softly, “until for me, it wasn’t.” 

“I had never met anyone like her. It was so _easy._ We would just sit together all day talking. She validated everything that I felt. When I told her I wanted to go to school, she didn’t laugh at me. When I said that I thought women should vote, she didn’t think I was crazy. When I…” Ell’s eyes fluttered closed. “...When I finally confessed that I liked women, Carmilla said I had nothing to be ashamed of with such conviction that I finally believed it. We snuck around my home to be alone together. It was all very...star crossed.” 

Carmilla added, “and when the time came for me to take her to Mother, I couldn’t bear to give her up.” 

“And when Papa told me he found a man for me to marry, I _begged_ Carmilla to save me from a loveless marriage.” 

“So we both wanted to run.” 

“To America, wasn’t it?” Ell asked. 

“Yes. To finally see the Museum of Art in New York City.” 

Ell smiled wistfully. “Right.” 

“But on the night we were supposed to leave...disaster struck.” 

Ell’s smile faded. “I was supposed to meet her. In a clearing, in the woods surrounding my home. But Maman found me f-first.” 

She choked on her words slightly, and Carmilla continued for her. “I had taken great lengths to hide what I was from her. But Maman revealed my true nature in its most horrifying light. And...Ell believed me to be a monster.” 

Laura bit her lip. Impulsively, she reached forward and put a comforting hand on Carmilla’s leg. “Then how did you both…?” 

“Maman knew what I was doing,” Carmilla continued, “they found another girl already. No...she wanted to punish me for my disobedience.”

She looked at Ell. They both looked at each other before Ell sighed. 

“She still kidnapped me,” Ell said slowly, “she tied me up with ropes. She took me to Carmilla. And she said to her ‘if you want her so badly...you can have her.’ She forced Carmilla to watch as she--she--” 

Ell covered her mouth with her hand, shutting her eyes tightly. Laura almost felt bad that she had Carmilla tied up (almost; she still didn’t trust her). It was clear from the way she leaned against her ropes that she wanted to be closer to her. 

“And Maman forced me to live with the guilt of what I had done to Ell forever,” Carmilla finished. “Every twenty years she calls us back here. To see each other again. Teach Ell how to be a good little minion. The game never changed. We were told to meet girls, make friends, ensure that they were ready when Maman decided.” 

Laura removed her hand. “So after all that you went right back to kidnapping girls?” 

“No. I pretended to go along with it. I had no choice. But I ruined opportunities when I could, sent girls running back home or to fallback schools.” Carmilla smirked humorlessly for a brief moment. “There is great satisfaction in small revenges. And Ell and I are telling the truth. Neither of us know what use Maman has for the girls. We _don’t know._ So we’ve watched, and we’ve waited...all to finally learn what we’ve been a part of all along.” 

Ell opened her eyes again, wiping her face with the back of her hand. She tilted her head slightly at Carmilla but said nothing. 

“So…” Laura nodded to herself, “you’ve been helping girls _escape._ ” 

“When I could.” 

Laura looked at Ell. “And you?” 

“This is the first time I’ve tried,” Ell admitted, “I’ve been too terrified of Maman.” 

“So you didn’t help Betty?” 

“No.” 

Laura swallowed. Finally she got up, sitting down on her bed. “Alright. We find your mother, and we get our friends back. Easy. Sort of. Right?” 

Carmilla scoffed and shook her head. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Our mother is the _Dean.”_

***

Laura went into the bathroom after that, to apparently have a ‘super secret meeting’ set up. Which was rather pointless, in Carmilla’s opinion, considering that they both had super hearing and knew everything she was saying on the phone anyway. 

“...I do not understand why she doesn’t just text them,” Carmilla said under her breath. She looked at Ell. “Sorry your cover got blown, Sugar. I guess.” 

Ell’s fingers were drumming against the mattress. Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “What?” 

“Is that really how you want to say it happened?” Ell snapped. 

“I’m sorry, it’s hard for me to keep track of all the stupid shit I’ve apparently done. You’ll need to enlighten me on what specific thing you’re referring to.” 

“‘In its most horrifying light?’ Like she _tricked_ me into thinking you were some sort of monster? You--” Ell stopped and lowered her voice. “--you _murdered_ my grandfather’s entire family! His loved ones! And that isn’t horrific enough?” 

“You _know_ it was a lot more complicated then that. He--” 

“I _know_ what he did,” Ell interrupted, “so you kill his brothers? His sisters? _Children?_ Everyone around him for something they didn’t do?” 

“If you hate me so much, why did you kiss me?” Carmilla asked. 

Ell stiffened. “You--I thought we both understood that we never talk about...what we do _._ ” 

“You helped a group of lackwits kidnap me, then you give this whole speech about how you’re going to be a hero like a righteous asshole, and _then_ whoops, you’re shoving your tongue in my mouth. Your one-eighties have never been _quite_ that extreme before.” 

“My tongue was _not_ in your mouth,” Ell huffed, “it was barely a peck.” 

Carmilla stared at Ell dryly as she squirmed. 

“Because--because--you’re the only other person who _could_ ever love me, okay?” Ell finally said. 

Carmilla’s brow furrowed. 

“I want to move on from you,” Ell continued, “but I _can’t._ Not when I’m forced to relive what we had together every twenty years. Working together taking girls, being reminded of how you did the same thing to me. I want to hate you completely but you’re the only person that loves me whether I’m a vampire or not. I want to hate you, but I saw you _seizing_ and all I could think was, if I lost _you?_ I would have nothing left. No one who gives a damn about me no matter what I am.” 

Ell bowed her head. After a moment the corner of her mouth turned up in a tired smile. 

“It was so stupid,” she said, “I actually thought Danny and I...God, we’re so messed up.” 

“Does that mean you forgive me then?” Carmilla asked flippantly. 

Ell looked up. She bit her lip. 

“No, but at least now I know I’m not any better.” 

***

“Okay, so in light of last night’s revelations I have gathered all of my friends to debate the merits of releasing the vampire hostage...as well as what to do about the _other_ vampire we have apparently been working with this entire time.” 

“Laura, I do not care how sad their Romeo and Juliet style Shakespearean tragedy of a story is. They literally just confessed to centuries of tricking girls into being their friends before they _ate them_.” 

“We never ate the--” 

“Shut up,” Danny snapped, glaring at Ell. She hugged her knees to her chest, scooting backwards on the bed. Carmilla ignored them both in favor of noisily slurping from her sippy cup with her eyes glued on the laptop screen. “If you think I am going to let you off scot free after you lied to me for _weeks--”_

“Okay, I get it Danny,” Laura said, “but if their mother really is the Dean, don’t we need all the help we can get?” 

“It’s not help if we can’t trust a word they say! In fact, the most ‘helpful’ thing we could do right now would be to tie Ell up too now that we know she’s one of them.” 

LaFontaine held up their hands. “Sorry, I’m _not_ onboard with untying someone that might want to eat me.” 

“See? LaFontaine agrees!” 

“Oh, just about the Carmilla part,” LaFontaine added, “we can’t tie Ell up.” 

“Well why _not?”_

“First of all, the only reason we managed to get Carmilla was through the element of surprise and Ell’s help. You want to give it a shot? Secondly, subduing someone who has saved your life purely because you found out they’re a vampire _reeks_ of species-ism.” 

Danny crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. “More like common sense,” she mumbled. 

Laura turned in her seat. “Perry, _come on._ You didn’t want to kidnap Carmilla in the first place and you like Ell.” 

“Have you been listening to what they’re saying? We kidnapped the _Dean’s daughter._ We can’t just let her go now!” Perry paused. “...Sorry, Carmilla.” 

“Oh no, it’s fine,” she said, “if you all want to go after my mother I am fine here.” She grimaced. “Vampires don’t _cry_. God, this is almost as bad as that sparkly twerp.” 

“Clearly, we are lost without her,” Danny said dryly. 

“ _Fine._ But what are we going to do about the Dean?” 

They all looked around the room. No one had anything to offer. 

“Well, as floor don, I have things I need to handle besides this whole hostage situation,” Perry said, sighing. She pinched the bridge of her nose before dropping her hand. “And honestly I need to get some sleep because hopefully this is a dream and going to bed means I’m actually _waking up.”_

She walked to the door and turned around. “LaFontaine?” 

“...Reconvene tomorrow, hopefully with some plans?” LaFontaine suggested. 

“I guess,” Laura groaned, burying her head in her hands. The door closed softly behind her and she felt a familiar, comforting hand on her back. 

“Hey,” Danny said gently, “we’ll figure something out. I promise.” 

“Thanks, Danny.” 

“I can stay if you want,” she said, “you’d be safer with someone around…” 

Laura put her hands in her lap. “Really sweet of you to offer, but I can handle it. Carmilla’s tied up.” 

“It’s not so much Carmilla,” Danny said, looking pointedly at Ell. She smiled sheepishly. 

“Danny, I know you’re not convinced, but I honestly think she wants to help. She’s harmless. At least, like, to us…” 

“Yeah, I don’t believe it,” Danny got up. She stalked toward Ell, who scooted backward until her back hit the wall. She loomed over Ell. 

“Listen, vampire,” Danny said, “I don’t care what the others think. If I have _any_ inkling that you might do anything to Laura, I am going to tie you up the same as I did to Carmilla. The same goes for if I see you anywhere _near_ the Summer Society Department again. You didn’t just betray us. You betrayed all of my sisters and--” 

“ _Please,_ don’t use ropes!” Ell yelped. 

Carmilla frowned and looked sideways at them. Ell was breathing quickly again, clutching her chest. Danny’s brow furrowed. 

“I--I don’t like ropes,” Ell said, “I don’t like being touched, or held down, or anything like that--” 

“What’s wrong with you?” Danny asked. Ell closed her eyes. Danny faltered slightly. She took a step forward and repeated, “seriously, Ell, what’s wrong?” 

“Get _away,_ ” Ell gritted out. She shook her head, mumbling in German. Carmilla was throwing her weight to turn the chair until she was looking right at them. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Carmilla growled, “will you back _up?”_

Danny took a step back and held up her hands. “What happened?” 

“Maman used ropes to hold her down in front of me before she turned her,” Carmilla said matter-of-factly. “Congratulations, Xena, if you wanted revenge by giving her flashbacks you’ve done it.” 

Danny blinked. She looked at Laura for help. 

“Why are you looking at me?” 

“Well--well--we can’t just leave her like that, I mean, come on.” 

“I obviously don’t know what to do, I caused it!” 

Danny looked torn between wanting to give Ell a hug to make her feel better and wanting to stay firm. After a few more moments looking at each other dumbly, Carmilla sighed. 

“You are imbeciles,” Carmilla said, “just--roll me over.” 

Danny grabbed the back of Carmilla’s chair and pulled her over to the bed. They both watched as Carmilla started speaking in low, quiet tones. Danny thought she might have been speaking German, but it was hard to tell. Ell opened her eyes and starting to shaking her head as Carmilla spoke. Finally, after a minute, Ell’s breathing became somewhat normal. She rested her chin on Carmilla’s shoulder for a moment. 

“...Thanks.” 

“Right, well, your whining can get rather annoying.” 

Carmilla looked at Danny and Laura as if daring them to comment. Danny opened her mouth to say something, then at the last second changed her mind and turned to Laura. 

Danny blew out a breath. “Just...be careful Hollis, okay? Please?” 

“When am I not? I am, like, _uber_ careful.” 

She flashed a cheesy grin at Danny, who snorted. “Okay, okay, you dork. Just make sure you have your phone near you and your bear spray.” 

“Of course.” 

Danny looked back at Ell one more time with an unreadable expression before shaking her head and closing the door behind her. 

Ell pushed Carmilla’s chair away. “I’m sorry about that, Laura,” Ell said softly. 

“Um...it’s fine. It’s not your fault. Explains part of the reason you’re always so nervous.” 

Ell nodded, wringing her hands. 

“Uh, if you want,” Laura continued, “you’re welcome to sleep here. Carmilla isn’t using the bed.” 

Ell shook her head. “That’s--that’s really nice of you,” she stood up, “but I really think that I need some fresh air now. I’ll be fine. I just--I really am sorry.” 

“At least Carmilla calmed you down,” Laura answered, looking at Carmilla pointedly. Ell paused with her hand on the door. 

“...She’s never hurt me,” Ell said, “I blame her for what happened to me because it _is_ her fault but she didn’t kill me and she didn’t kidnap me and she didn’t turn me. I guess…” Realization crossed Ell’s face. “I _trust_ her.” 

Laura could see Carmilla’s gaze toward Ell softening just slightly, unable to stop herself from looking at Ell in bewilderment. 

Ell looked rather confused herself before she shook herself out of her thoughts. “Please make sure Danny is safe. That’s all I want. I promise I’ll be back before tomorrow morning.” 

“Believe me, I don’t want Danny to risk her life for me either.” 

Ell smiled wistfully, mumbled a ‘goodbye’, and left. 


	8. Chapter 8

Part of her didn’t want to go back. She couldn’t face Danny again. For one thing, Danny hated her now. For another, well, what happened was kind of embarrassing. 

But what was she supposed to do? Go to Maman and pretend everything was alright? And leave Carmilla by herself? She was a jerk, but Ell couldn’t deny that she didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. 

So Ell took a long walk. She breathed in the rapidly chilling night air sharply until it burned her lungs. Then, when she felt like she could just barely manage to face them all again, Ell decided to try and quietly re-enter Laura’s room. 

(It was nighttime, but nocturnal or not, Ell needed a bed.) 

“Carmilla, I--and _whoa,_ you are free,” Ell closed the door behind her softly, marching stiffly toward her. “What happ--and _whoa,_ ” she turned her head in the direction Carmilla was looking with an amused smile. “What in God’s name is _happening?”_

“Will paid me a visit and he’s trying to kill Laura,” Carmilla said, stifling a laugh. Ell yelped. 

_“_ Oh my God!” Ell tried to run in after them, but Carmilla yanked her back. 

“Wait wait wait, let me see this.” 

“Are you _insane--_ ” 

“I’m not going to let him kill her, I just want to see what Laura does. She just sucker punched Will in the throat.” 

Ell paused. “...She did?” 

They both watched. “Yeah, apparently she takes Krav Maga or some shit.” 

“She’s definitely putting up a fight.” 

“It’s _hilarious,_ Will is getting beaten up by a perpetually sugar high teenager.” 

“Your new crush is certainly brave if kind of stupid,” Ell remarked. 

Carmilla smirked. “Yeah,” she admitted, “she kind of is.” 

Will finally pulled Laura out of the bathroom with her arm pinned behind her back. “See, this is why I miss the 1930s. You get the occasional girl who signs up for the ARTC but none of this chop saki--” Will stopped. “Oh, _hey_ Princess. Finally decided to stop being a deadweight and help out?” 

Ell held up her hands. “William--Bill--I know you think you need to do what Maman says, but we can talk about--” 

“I haven’t been Bill since 1930, can you stop with that crap?” 

“Oh, so sorry Billy-boy,” Carmilla retorted, “I feel so bad for you, having to deal with these _annoying_ girls that actually fight back.” 

“Laugh it up Kitty, I’m sure Mother is going to find it hilarious I had to cut you loose--” 

“ _You,”_ Carmilla’s hands scrunched as she tried to find the right words, “are such a _mama’s_ boy!” 

“You mean I actually have to _earn_ respect from Mother whereas _you_ are always her favorite, and,” he nodded his head at Ell, “she doesn’t give a damn what Princess does as long as she’s making you feel nice and guilty.” 

“Settle your Mommy issues later,” Ell said, balling her fists, “can we talk about the _human being_ involved here instead of arguing?” 

“You’re right. All this arguing is making me hungry, actually. Maybe I’ll have a little snack…” 

Carmilla got up. “We don’t _kill_ the targets! And Mother must not be happy about you losing the airhead.” 

“Well, it was an accident. I mean, how was I supposed to know they were gonna lock in a room with an open window--” 

“So now you’re going to ‘accidentally’ lose two of them.” 

“It’d be worth it to screw with you.” 

“No it wouldn’t,” Ell interjected, “Will, Maman is going to do a lot more than give you a talking to. If you let Laura go now, I could tell her it wasn’t your fault--” 

“Because you have _so much_ leverage with her? You think Mother believes that you’re not mixing business and pleasure when you ‘spy’ on that Summer Society chick? She’s talked about having me pay _her_ a visit.” 

Ell froze. Suddenly, she sprung forward, punching Will and wrestling with him on the ground. 

“If you--touch _anyone_ I care about-- _anyone--_ I am not letting you--tell her that for all I care!” 

Will managed to reverse their positions. He managed to get one good punch in before Carmilla was grabbing Will by the armpits and dragging him back. 

“What the fuck is _wrong_ with you?” 

“She attacked me!” Will jerked away. Laura scrambled toward the bed as Will walked slowly toward the door. “You are both going to regret that.” 

He ran out. Carmilla knelt down. “Ell, you idiot,” she breathed, “you okay?” 

Ell managed to sit up. “No,” she pressed a hand to her mouth and it came away bloody, “but I’ll live. Go after Will!” Her head fell back against the side of Laura’s bed. Carmilla turned around. 

“Thank you for not eating me--” 

Carmilla tackled her to the bed, fed from her, and ran out after him. 

***

“I told you, I’m _really_ sorry she fed off of you,” Ell groaned, holding an icepack to her jaw, “but my little brother just gave me a beatdown, so I am _not_ in the best position to listen to you rant.” 

“I don’t care! She just turned me into a _juicebox!”_ Laura winced, pressing the towel against her neck. “My dad is going to kill me.” 

“Don’t tell him. Or wear a scarf of something, I don’t know,” Ell moved her jaw back and forth. “ _Ow,_ Will is stronger than I remembered--” 

The door slammed open and Carmilla stormed inside, throwing open the closet to grab a duffel bag. She started pulling out clothes as Laura yelled at her. 

“I’m a vampire and I was pissed off, what did you expect?” Carmilla started shoving clothes into the bag. “I needed the strength to catch Will before he went to Mother and ratted Ell and I out.” 

“Did you?” Laura and Ell asked at the same time. Carmilla rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, I’m preparing to leave the scene because everything went _swimmingly._ Little weasel got away. Which _means_ it’s only a matter of time before Mother comes after us.” 

“So you’re just going to run?” 

“Have you heard a word of what I said about my mother? Or what Ell said? _Yeah._ Yeah, I’m leaving. Come on, Ell.” 

“Come _on?”_

“You want to be the only one here when Maman comes looking for me? We have to get out of here.” 

“No we’re _not.”_

“What do you mean, we’re not?” 

Ell winced as she stood up, still nursing her mouth. “I don’t know if you realize who you’re talking to, but begging me to run away with you has historically _not worked out so well.”_

Carmilla and Ell glared at each other. “Your funeral,” Carmilla finally huffed, “don’t blame me when she gets pissed.” 

“Wait, wait,” Laura stood in front of the door. “You can’t go! I mean...he tried to eat me and Ell attacked him, but it’s only his word against yours that you’re both being all disobedient. _Running_ though...that definitely makes you look guilty.” 

“So my only chance is staying and justifying protecting you?” 

She looked at Ell. 

“Carmilla, I’ll back you up,” Ell said, “she’s suspicious, but Mother would never believe that I would lie to her. I’m too,” Ell couldn’t help but shiver a little, “absolutely terrified.” 

Her nostrils flared. “Fine. But this isn’t because I want to help. And I’m still pissed at _both of you._ ” 

“Hey, you just bit me! I’m pissed too!” 

“And being mad at you has kind of been my default setting for awhile…” 

Carmilla threw the bag back on the bed. “I am taking a shower, I smell like the floor of a bondage club.” 

“Scrape your hair out of the shower drain while you’re at it!” Laura shouted after her. “ _Ugh!”_

She threw the wooden spoon she was throwing; Ell ducked. Laura walked over to her computer. “So a pack of vampires wants to kidnap me for reasons unknown and the only thing maybe standing between them is my not quite as evil vampire roommate and her ex girlfriend...so that’s complicated. Also, I have a lit midterm in like five hours.” 

Laura groaned and covered her head in her hands. 

***

“So you failed?” 

Ell had, unofficially, moved into Laura’s dorm room. Carmilla, of course, demanded her bed back; Ell took to sleeping on the floor instead. Going back to the Summer Society was out for obvious reasons, and honestly, Laura kind of liked having Ell there. She was generally more pleasant than Carmilla, and Laura enjoyed having her as a buffer. 

“Yeah. Although I _did_ get the questions about ‘historical context’, so that _might_ have let me squeak by,” Laura took a sip from her mug, “thanks for that crash course, by the way.” 

“No problem. _Pride and Prejudice_ was before I was even born, but it was still always one of my favorite books.” She bit her lip. “Um, how did Danny look?” 

Laura paused with the tip of her mug against her lips. “Good, I guess. We couldn’t really talk.” 

“Did she look happy though? Or like she was secretly planning the murder of her treacherous former vampiric protege?” 

“Go and talk to her if you’re so worried,” Carmilla suggested, walking out of the bathroom. 

“You just think it’d be funny to watch her freak out on me,” Ell grumbled. 

“A little,” Carmilla admitted, sitting down, “and what are you whining about, Laura?” 

“...I might have failed my lit midterm.” 

“That’s it? Come on, you’re practically dating your TA.” 

Ell frowned, scooting her chair a few steps away from Laura. 

“And ask Danny…? _No._ An A is a sacred trust!” 

“Well,” Carmilla leaned toward her, “if I was your TA, you wouldn’t even have to ask.” 

“Considerate, but unethical,” Laura said, purposefully not looking directly at her.

“Ethics are a ridiculous game played by children who think they can impose order on an arbitrary universe.” 

“I don’t think that’s true.” 

Carmilla and Laura both looked at Ell. She blushed slightly with embarrassment. “There’s right and wrong,” Ell said, “human beings have had the same basic standard of moral law independent of each other since the beginning of civilization, haven’t they?” 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “I will never understand your stubborn refusal to be an atheist when by your logic we’re both going to Hell.” 

“I don’t understand your stubborn refusal to believe in an objective higher power when we are immortal vampires brought to life by magic.” 

“The point is useless anyway,” Carmilla huffed, “you always confused ‘ethics’ with ‘morality’.” 

“Um...okay, while I am not really into the whole religion thing,” Laura said, “I’m not really up for a whole debate right now.” 

Carmilla and Ell held their gaze until they both, simultaneously, broke it. 

“Anyway,” Carmilla said, “you should take every advantage you can get. Where is that bracelet?” 

Laura smiled sheepishly, wheeling her chair over and grabbing it from under Carmilla’s bed. “Um, what does it do anyway?” 

Carmilla grabbed it and started tying it around Laura’s wrist. “It makes you feel off to vampires. Like you’re leaking radiation. Like if I touch you, I might feel off.” 

“Maman uses it for punishments,” Ell added, “small things. She’ll make us wear it and we’ll feel really nauseous for a few days.” 

Laura frowned. “Wow, that’s awful.” 

“Well, at least it might persuade them to move on to someone else.” 

“Anything from the Dean?” 

Carmilla shook her head. “Radio silence. But the fact that none of us are messily dead does bode well--” 

“And I said seriously, if you can’t even remember to keep the cage locked--” 

Perry and LaFontaine froze in the open doorway. 

“Uh, at what point in the last century did people give up on _knocking?”_

“Hi guys,” Ell said weakly, holding up her hand and wiggling her fingers. 

“Laura, the vampire is loose,” LaFontaine pointed at her, “ _why_ is the vampire loose?” 

“I’ll get help!” Perry squeaked, rushing back into the hallway as Laura shouted ‘no!’ after her retreating back. She groaned, clenching her fist. 

“Why would you let her loose?” 

“I didn’t! It was,” Laura gestured vaguely before settling on, “beyond my control.” 

LaFontaine looked at Ell accusingly. “Okay, we have been through this,” Ell said, “ _If_ I were actually evil and working with Carmilla, why would I wait two weeks to free her when I was alone with her every morning, so on and so forth, okay?” 

“But Carmilla is _really_ on our side,” Laura insisted. LaFontaine squinted at her. 

“How do I know that you’re not just a pod person, spouting the vampire company line?” 

“It doesn’t work that way,” Carmilla answered. 

“Although _we_ don’t even know how it works--” 

“ _Not_ helping Ell!” 

“Alright, you want proof?” Laura stood up. “You are literally the _worst_ roommate ever! You have been untied all of eight hours and already there is already a layer of sludge on _every_ surface of my bathroom and--and--you _stole my pillow!”_

Laura grabbed it from her, throwing it back to her bed. It hit Ell in the face with a _foop._

“Sorry, Ell,” Laura said, calming down, and sitting on the bed’s edge next to her. 

“You’re, uh, good.” 

“What did you mean ‘we don’t even know?’” LaFontaine asked, walking into the middle of the room. 

“Whatever happens to them happens after we take them to Mother,” Carmilla said. 

“So, you two have been taking girls for how many hundreds of years--” 

“Actually, for me it’d only be one hundred forty--” Ell started, but LaFontaine ignored her. 

“--and you don’t even know what happens to them?” 

Carmilla and Ell looked at each other. 

“Uh, gee,” Carmilla said with mock excitement, “feel like telling me the secrets of your antediluvian vampire cult today? Oh, what’s that,” Carmilla put a hand to her ear, “no? Oh, and you’ll use my _head as a doorstop_ if I continue asking questions.” 

Laura laughed in spite of herself, stopping and looking at Ell guiltily when she took in her somber expression. 

“...Whatever it is,” Ell said, “it makes their blood really gross. Like, we can’t even stomach it--not that I’ve tried,” Ell added hastily, “I’ve heard.” 

LaFontaine crossed their arms. “Well, if it’s affecting their blood, maybe it’s affecting their brain chemistry as well? We really need to figure out what’s in the goo...” 

“See?” Laura said, “you’re helping already! Now we just need to get the other girls back…” 

Carmilla clenched her fists, gritting her teeth. “Have you gone selectively deaf when Ell and I talk?” She asked, “there is no ‘getting them back!’ There’s just staying out of her way!” 

“But you’ve been rescuing girls--” 

“ _No,_ I’ve just been screwing with Mummy Dearest to annoy her.” 

“So after everything she has done to you--and to _Ell,_ ” she looked at Ell for help, “your big revenge is to be _annoying?_ I thought you were vampire badasses!” 

“Okay, first of all, Ell is the furthest from a badass you can possible be. Second of all, the only reason I’m alive to be a badass is because I pick my battles.” 

“Ell? Weren’t you on our side?” 

Ell squirmed uncomfortably. “I’m younger than Carmilla,” Ell said, “I’m not as strong as her. If she can’t take her on, I can’t. I’m not even brave enough to save girls from her…” 

“But you’ve been helping us!” 

“Yeah, but to be totally honest, I was kind of--” 

“Too blinded by her desire to get laid to realize how monumentally stupid she was being,” Carmilla finished. 

“--denying the bigger picture,” Ell continued, glaring at Carmilla. “And _yes,_ I wanted to keep Danny safe when she got involved, because she is _my friend._ Or was.” 

“You have a better shot of taking both of us down than either of us have _ever_ had against my mother,” Carmilla said, “feel like taking a shot?” 

Before Laura could answer there was a _bang_ as the door was thrown open. 

“See, she’s loose, I told you she was loose!” Perry said as Danny ran in, holding her stake in the air. 

“You. Me. Right here, _right now._ ” 

Ell jumped up from the bed, standing in front of Danny with her arms spread out. 

“Danny _no!”_

“Get out of the way Ell,” Danny said, adjusting the grip on her stake. Ell didn’t move. 

“Danny, I can’t do that.” 

“Stop protecting her!” 

“I am not protecting her, I am protecting _you,_ Wonder Woman!” 

“I can handle her--” 

“No, trust me, you cannot. Just like you couldn’t handle her by yourself the first time, and just like you couldn’t handle the library. Will you stop trying to save everyone for two seconds and use your _head?”_

Danny looked at Carmilla. “I am not going to let you hurt her!” 

Carmilla snarled. “She’s not going to be the one in trouble if you try and come at me, Xena.” 

“Danny, I mean it. Get back now--” 

She grabbed Ell’s arm to push her out of the way, and Ell reacted. Perry grabbed LaFontaine, yanking them out of the way as Ell took Danny and pinned her against Laura’s dresser. 

“Guys!” Laura shouted, “calm down!” 

Ell and Danny stared at each other. Danny stoically, Ell with bared teeth. Her gaze flitted down to Danny’s pulse point, and she licked her lips unconsciously before grabbing Danny’s stake and letting her go. 

“I--I’m sorry I--you grabbed me and--” Ell snapped the wood in half, throwing it on the ground, “I didn’t mean--you were going to--I haven’t eaten in awhile. Too distracted by Carmilla and Will and everything else I mean--” 

Ell closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Maybe I should go.” 

“Yeah,” Danny said slowly, “you should.” 

“Please tell me you won’t try to kill each other.” 

“Danny promises she won’t try to kill Carmilla,” Laura said, “and Carmilla promises not to kill Danny. Right?” 

Carmilla crossed her arms. “You know, I’ve tried to be understanding about the kidnapping and the starvation diet, but I am forgetting why I haven’t torn out your spine,” she said to Danny. 

“Carmilla, _please._ Danny is very sorry. Right Danny? Right! I saw a nod!” 

She looked pleadingly at Carmilla. 

“... _Fine._ ” 

“Good. I’m going to make sure I’m not dangerous. Great.” 

“Hey,” LaFontaine said quietly to Ell as she slipped out the door, “I know where you can get--” 

“I’ll be alright, thank you.” 

She shut the door, leaned her back against the wood for a moment to regain her composure and--after being satisfied that she didn’t hear the sounds of anyone being attacked, although she did hear some arguing--Ell left. 


	9. Chapter 9

Danny didn’t get farther than the quad before everything around her started exploding. 

Great. She was just dumped, Danny suspected it might have something to do with Laura being seduced by a _vampire,_ and now giant mushrooms were trying to kill people. 

(Or trying the brainwash them, if the person walking around like a zombie after Danny saw them being hit in the face by spores was any indication.) 

She was a member of the Summer Society. She had to help. 

She had to try and distract herself from every instinct in her body begging her to run back into the dorm building and make sure Laura was safe. 

Each mushroom that popped out of the ground was accompanied by a soft _foof_ as spores flew into the air. Danny backed away from the closest one. How the hell do you fight _mushrooms_ anyway? Fire? Machetes? She’d have to get to the Summer Society Department if she wanted a machete--

“Danny!” 

Danny turned. Ell was running toward her, tripped and stumbling around mushroom pods popping out of the ground. “I came as soon as I heard the noise, what’s going on?” 

“Alchemy Club experiment gone wrong,” Danny answered. 

“ _Right._ We really need to get inside--” 

Danny pulled away when Ell tried to grab her. “I don’t need your help.” 

“This is _not_ the time to be mad at me, this is the time to not be attacked by spores!” 

“I can multi-task.”

“Don’t you want to go find _Laura?”_ Ell asked pointedly. Danny bristled. 

“She wouldn’t want me to.” 

“Meaning…?” 

“She got pissed at me and I promised to back off! So if you’ll excuse me,” Danny rolled up her sleeves, “I need to go help.” 

“Danny,” Ell said gently, “I know you are very angry at me and at Laura, but running blindly into danger to try and distract yourself is _not_ going to help--” 

They both flinched as another mushroom exploded near them, and they both stumbled a few steps to the right. “Because _you_ can protect me?” Danny scoffed. 

“Yes! For one thing,” Ell narrowed her eyes, “I am smart enough to know that rolling up your sleeves to expose _more_ skin to spores is a bad idea no matter how cool it makes you look.” 

Danny clenched her jaw, shoving her sleeves back down. “Whatever, I can handle myself.” 

“Like Laura?” 

Danny paused. Instead of answering, Danny opted for blatantly ignoring Ell and trying to walk in the other direction. 

_Foop!_

Which is when another mushroom decided the perfect time to sprout was right in front of her. 

“Shit--” 

It happened too quickly for Danny to even react. She felt someone grabbing her, throwing her back; her head hit the ground; and when she managed to sit up, Ell was standing in front of her, hands up, and absolutely covered head to toe with spores. 

“Ell? Oh my God, Ell!” 

She jumped up, her first reaction to grab her, but she stopped herself. She might breathe some of the spores in. She waved her hands uselessly before finally asking, “Ell? Can you hear me?” 

She nodded slowly. Okay. So she wasn’t a spore zombie. 

“Ell, why aren’t you…? Oh. Right. Vampires don’t need to breathe. Which is probably why you are not opening your mouth to talk.” 

Ell nodded again. She mimed drinking something. 

“Drinking…? Water! Christ, we got to wash those spores off of you! Which will involve...fighting our way through a campus of spores…” 

Unless they didn’t walk through campus. 

“Ell, come on, we’ll head to the woods and use the river. You can wash the spores off there.” 

***

“...I’m still mad at you,” Danny said. 

She was leaning against a tree trunk. Ell was dripping wet, letting herself dry off sitting cross legged near the edge of the river. 

“I know,” Ell said, wringing shirt out. Danny tried not to look directly at her until she’d slipped it back over her head. “But I _did_ save your life like three times.” 

“Three?” 

“The spores? The library?” 

“That’s two.” 

“And Carmilla.” 

Danny crossed her arms. “You should have let me fight her.” 

“She would have killed you,” Ell said, running her fingers through her hair to detangle the wet curls. “Look, you make up for it by being _really_ strong and everything, but you do not know the first thing about killing vampires. I would know.” 

“Because you are one?” 

“And I come from a line of vampire hunters,” Ell sighed, “the irony is not lost on me, I assure you.” 

Danny watched Ell silently as she made sure the last of the spores were gone from her hair. “I’m still mad at you,” Danny repeated. 

“I told you, I know.” Ell stood up. “But Danny, charging at Carmilla armed with nothing but a stick of sharp wood had to be _the_ most monumentally reckless and ill thought plan I have ever seen. And we are friends with _Laura._ ” 

“Well, I’m not anymore,” Danny grumbled. Ell crossed her arms, softening, as if she were fighting the urge to give Danny a hug. 

“I’m so sorry, Danny.”

“Whatever,” Danny answered, “I’ll live.” She didn’t want to continue on that particular lane of conversation, so she added, “and don’t even try that ‘you don’t want her to hurt me’ crap. You wanted to protect Carmilla. Admit it.” 

Ell swallowed thickly. She looked away from Danny, rubbing her arms. “Yes,” she admitted. She shut her eyes. 

“What?” 

“Nothing, it’s just--the first girl I ever like turns out to be a vampire. The second girl is a monster hunter that hates me. I mean,” She laughed humorlessly, “why can’t I ever just like a normal girl?” 

“...You like me?” 

Ell raised her shoulders defensively and didn’t respond. 

Ell had lied to her. 

She’d made her feel like an idiot and lied to her for weeks. 

But…

“It’s really hard for me to completely hate you,” Danny mumbled. Ell looked up. 

“It...is?” 

“I mean,” Danny sighed, sitting down in the grass. Ell hesitantly joined her, keeping a good amount of distance between them. “I hate vampires for obvious reasons. And it’s easy to hate Carmilla for being a vampire because, like, she’s broody, and a jerk, with all the dark hair and the leather and everything. But you,” she looked at Ell, “are small and cute and blonde and my _friend._ Who has saved my life. Logically I know you’re actually a vampire but...it’s still hard to get my head around. Why can’t you be a jerk and make this easier?” 

“You think I’m cute?” 

“I’m still pissed.” 

“Right.” Ell bit her lip. With Ell closer and not distracted by the threat of looming fungus, Danny got a better look at her face. 

“Hey, what happened to you? I didn’t even notice that bruise.” 

“Oh. Um, punched in the face by my little brother.” 

“You have a brother?” 

“Vampire brother. Will. Yeah, he’s also a vampire. Decked me when he tried to hurt Laura?” 

“Jesus,” Danny breathed, “you are making it _really_ hard to be mad.” 

She reached a hand out and Ell flinched away. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Danny said softly, “I just want to take a look. Is that okay?” 

Ell sucked in a breath. “Okay.” 

“Vampires have super healing,” Danny continued, placing her fingertips against the dark, purpled skin, “if it’s not gone yet it must be pretty bad.” 

Ell clasped her hands together, watching Danny examine her face. “...I really did do all that stuff.” 

“Hm?” 

“In my papers. The women’s suffrage stuff. I really was there.” 

“I figured that when I realized you were a vampire,” Danny answered, “um...did you really know Alice Paul then?” 

“I was at a few of her protests,” Ell said, “I had to run when the police came...vampire, lack of access to blood, jail...not a good combination.” 

Danny stiffened. “Have you killed people?” She asked. 

Ell swallowed. “Um. Not in awhile?” She said, tapping her fingers against her thigh. 

“What’s ‘awhile?’” 

“I’ve had to kill vampire hunters before. But they were trying to kill me. At least a few decades. I killed a lot of people when I was first turned though. No control over myself.” 

Danny removed her hand. “Oh.” 

“Maman likes it,” Ell continued, “you know, turn someone into a vampire, let them run wild before they get control of themselves...pretty soon you’ve already killed a small village of innocent people and well…” Ell swallowed thickly, “you don’t really have a choice of whether you’re going to be a monster or not, so what’s the point?” 

“Carmilla tried for you, apparently.” 

“She was selfish,” Ell said bitterly, “If she really cared as much as she said, Carmilla would have let me go. She would have found some other girl, or she would have told me the truth--” Ell paused. “...Like I did to you. _I_ was selfish. I should have stayed away from you. I should have and I really am just as bad as Carmilla.” 

Ell put a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “I am so, so sorry.” 

She didn’t look like a vampire. 

She just...didn’t. And maybe Danny was just looking for an excuse to not brush her off because she’d just gotten dumped. But no matter what Ell lied about, Danny still trusted her more than Carmilla. 

“Are you going to make sure Laura is safe?” Danny asked. 

“Of course.” 

Danny stood up. She took Ell’s hand and helped her. 

“As long as you make sure Laura’s safe,” Danny said, “I can forgive you for anything. It’s getting late.” 

“Right,” Ell said, “late.” 

Danny dropped Ell’s hand. She turned to go back, and at the last second said, “and Ell?” 

“Yes?” 

“Please stay safe too, okay?” 

“I’ll do my best.” 

“Because I really don’t want to lose...any friends because of all of this.” 

Ell looked at Danny and, hesitantly, nodded. “I don’t either. Um, and I don’t want you to _not_ do dangerous heroic stuff, by the way.” 

“You don’t, huh?” 

“I just--” Ell rubbed the back of her neck. “--it’s probably wishful thinking but I thought we worked well as a team.” 

She looked away from Danny, and only looked back when she answered. 

“Well...having someone who doesn’t need to breathe would be pretty useful when you’re fighting evil mushroom spores.” 

Danny didn’t think she would ever see anyone--human or vampire--look so grateful again. 

***

“Is there any particular reason you are hanging around us when you and Xena are apparently buddies again?” 

“We are not ‘buddies’,” Ell answered, “we are...friendly allies. That’s it.” 

“How did you get back into the Summer Society?” 

“I said I was in the infirmary and Danny backed me up.” Ell shrugged. “Mel gave me an earful, but she thinks I can run a four minute mile, so she’s pretty slow to suggest kicking me out.” 

“Only four?” 

“Well, four thirty. The current world record is four twelve. I didn’t want to draw too much attention.” 

Carmilla nodded. She looked at Laura, who was narrating to the camera animatedly about their night. “Actually, the part where they were lurching around like zombies was pretty funny.” 

“Right up until they tried to burn down the Lustig Theatre Building!” 

“Still pretty funny.” 

Ell watched them talk back and forth. She smiled when Carmilla tried to downplay the fact that she saved Laura. 

“Anyway, we spent all night hacking down mushrooms and rolling barrels of fungicide into any building within a half mile radius of the Lustig--which, side note, what is it with people trying to burn that place down? Didn’t they already torch it back in 1904?” 

“Nobody likes theatre students,” Carmilla said, shrugging. 

“Hey,” Ell interrupted, “I’ve gotten like five separate theatre degrees.” 

Carmilla looked at Ell pointedly until she pouted. 

“Just...just a crazy cooking club prank…” Perry opened the door and walked in, flopping down onto the bed next to Ell with LaFontaine’s hand on her shoulder. 

“Um, Perry--” 

“Don’t bother,” LaFontaine said, “she’s trying to convince herself it’s the caf greenhouse getting out of control.” 

“It’s a perfectly...well... _giant mushrooms._ ” 

Ell put a comforting hand on Perry’s shoulder. “Sorry.” LaFontaine looked at Ell. 

“Hey, you and Danny were pretty...violent out there.” 

“Um--” 

LaFontaine held up her hand and Ell smiled uneasily before giving them a high five. 

“Yeah, Danny isn’t taking our whole... _thing_ very well,” Laura answered, “speaking of which, you’re not going to tell Danny we’re talking about her, are you?” 

“I was told to tell Danny anything relating to the investigation purely for Elsie-related purposes.” 

“Is that a yes?” Carmilla asked. 

“...I mean, I would _prefer_ if you didn’t say anything bad.” 

“Okay, as interesting as this,” LaFontaine gestured around the room, “weird romance not romance ritual thing is, I got finished analyzing that goo from Sarah Jane and Natalie’s room.”

“And?” Laura asked. 

Perry stammered out something about jellyfish before LaFontaine answered, “it was cerebrospinal fluid.” 

“...Is that what I think it--” 

“Yeah, the fluid in your brain sac.” 

“So I stuck my hand in a puddle of Betty’s _brain fluid?”_

“Oh, it gets better than that.” 

LaFontaine walked to the computer, pulling up a picture. Laura, Ell, Perry, and Carmilla all averted their eyes. 

“What in the name of Skrillex is _that?”_

“Some kind of parasite?” 

“You mean,” Ell lowered her hands from her eyes for only a moment before closing them again, “ _that_ is what Mother wanted to do to me?” 

“Still think anything is better than a vampire, Ell?” Carmilla remarked. Laura and LaFontaine looked at her. “What, you think we know about this? We’re vampires, not guinea worms.” 

Ell got up to get a better look. “Yeah, I have no idea what these things are.” 

“But it might be why Betty and the others were acting so crazy! I mean, parasites do that, right?” 

“When I was in the Amazon,” Ell offered, “I found out there’s this parasite that attacks ants and makes them, like, climb up trees before it kills them.” 

Carmilla stared at Ell. 

“...What?” 

“You were in the Amazon?” 

“You _never_ ask me what I do inbetween Silas, and you’re surprised that I do interesting things?” 

“Well, do you make them drink, eat, inject, _inhale_ anything?” LaFontaine asked. 

“No,” Ell shook her head, “Mother does it. Or something she brings them to does it. We don’t.” 

“Come on, there has to be _something--”_ LaFontaine pressed. Carmilla slapped her palms against her thighs. 

“You know what?” Carmilla stood up, “sure. Let’s dissect my deeply painful past in every excruciating detail!” 

She clenched her fists, storming out. Ell leaned back. 

“...I don’t want to make either of you uncomfortable,” LaFontaine said, looking at Ell, “but you know, first hand witnesses?” 

Ell looked at the floor. “It’s--you know, it isn’t easy. Here,” Ell got up, “I can try and calm her down.” 

She peeked her head out the door and saw Carmilla walking down the hallway. She ran after her. 

“Carmilla!” 

“Don’t follow me, Sugar.” 

Ell slowed to a jog when she reached her. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Then I’ll make you--” 

“Carmilla,” Ell grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, “you can’t run every time things get higher than a five on the discomfort scale.” 

“Ell, this is all so _useless._ Why should I have to relive everything that happened to us when it won’t help? She knows. She’s probably just figuring out how long she wants to fucking _torture_ us first.” 

“You don’t think I _know_ that?” 

Carmilla blinked stupidly. “Then _what_ is your problem? We are on the same page here?” 

“Carmilla, if I was going to die, I thought it would be at the hands of some vampire hunter, or seizing after too many weeks without blood. Mother is going to kill us or worse no matter what we do now. Wouldn’t you rather go down--” 

“A hero? Fighting for good?” Carmilla finished bitterly, “Christ, Ell, when are you going to accept that I do not _want_ that?” 

“-- _Fighting,_ Carmilla,” Ell answered, “I know you don’t want to be a hero. But if we are going to die, I want it to be kicking and screaming, not grovelling at her feet begging for mercy she’s not going to give. So _get your ass in gear and help._ ” 

Carmilla’s mouth fell open. She gave a short whistle. “That is _not_ like you, Sugar. When did you get that backbone?” 

“...Things are different now, I guess,” Ell answered, “after the year we’ve had so far I feel like anything can happen. Don’t you?” 

Carmilla thought of Laura still in her room, and the way she looked at Carmilla when she talked about being saved from the spores. “Maybe.” 

“Good--” 

“Just BE NORMAL!” 

“--and what was _that?”_

“...A reason for me _not_ to go back there,” Carmilla said dryly. Ell looked down the hallway uneasily, then back at Carmilla. 

“Come with me then?” Ell rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. 

“Where?” 

“I don’t know. But we can both use a break. And...to be honest, I’m not thrilled with talking to them about our past either.” 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “So is this a...?” 

“No! No, of course not,” Ell said, turning red. 

“Good,” Carmilla breathed, “because I would have said no and this is already awkward enough.” 

“I would have too,” Ell answered. 

“Congratulations,” Carmilla said dryly, “we can throw a fucking parade.” 

“Or we can both complain about how stupid all our new human friends are. You know I had to jump in front of a mushroom to save Danny and got a face full of spores?” 

“Ooooh, you getting hit in the face with spores,” Carmilla said, shoving her hands in her pockets and walking with Ell. It was uncomfortable, it was awkward, but it was a start--over a hundred years too late, but it was a start. “Please, do tell.”


	10. Chapter 10

“...Do you think it’s just sexism, or is there something about virgins that makes them taste better?” 

Carmilla looked at Ell. “Where the fuck did that come from?” 

“I mean, look at these things,” Ell ran a finger down the page while Laura and LaFontaine were narrating their latest adventure to the camera. “I mean, I don’t know Sumerian, but from what you’ve said these things _all_ eat virgins.” 

“I don’t know, do you think they would?” 

“Well, maybe their blood tastes different or something.” 

“It’s not as if I ask for my victims’ sexual histories before feeding from them.” 

“It’s not like I would expect you to…” Ell mumbled, embarrassed. She raised her voice again and said, “nothing about an angry light, Laura.” 

“Seriously? Nothing?” 

“Well,” Carmilla said, “a monster that eats girls and is scary is kind of the entire book--oooh,” she grimaced, “ _Niar Logoth._ Prefers the _livers_ of virgins first fed nothing but red wine for ninety-six days.” 

“The fact that none of these have ended the world yet is kind of amazing,” Ell remarked, “they’re so picky about how they want their virgins. You’d think somebody would fall short of meeting their quota at _some_ point.” 

“Well, that _totally_ isn’t going to haunt my nightmares for the next month,” LaFontaine said. 

Perry walked into the room. When she left without so much as looking in LaFontaine’s direction, Ell managed to smile sympathetically while Laura tries to cheer them up. 

“...It’s fine. C’mon JP. Let’s you and I hit up my homunclid anatomy course and see if we can figure out anything about these parasites.” 

Ell looked at the computer. “Goodbye, JP!” 

_Have a pleasant afternoon, Miss Elisabeth!_

Ell sighed when they both left. “It actually feels quite good to go by my birth name again.” 

Laura wheeled her chair over tentatively. “So...Carmilla, thanks. For coming to the library.” 

“I thought we were never speaking of that again,” Carmilla answered. Ell got up and moved to the other bed. When Carmilla looked at her, Ell gave her a thumbs up. 

Carmilla flipped her off. 

“ _Hey!”_

“Not you,” Carmilla answered, “just my insufferable ex girlfriend.” 

“Excuse me for being supportive of you actually having friends,” Ell grumbled. 

“Since when were you supportive of Carmilla?” Laura asked, smiling at Ell. She contemplated the question before saying: 

“Since I started thinking that what happened to me might be less Carmilla ruining my life and more saving it from an eternity of...one of _those,”_ Ell gestured vaguely to the book. 

Carmilla looked at Ell, the confusion plain on her face. 

“Last night Danny and I watched a movie,” Ell continued blushing, “Pride and Prejudice. She saw your video about the library and I wanted to distract her, and, um...we had fun. It was nice.” Ell shrugged. “I’ve never let myself have _friends_ before and...you know, I’m starting to reconsider the idea that being a vampire means I can’t be, y’know, happy.”

“...Your return to childish naivete is heartwarming.” 

Ell narrowed her eyes. “And in light of that, I am going to be happy and leave.”

“Tell Danny I said hi--or don’t, she probably doesn’t want to hear from me…” 

“She’s still your friend if you want her to be,” Ell answered. 

Just to annoy her further, Ell pointed to Laura and gave her another thumbs up before closing the door. 

***

“Carmilla, just...just let me see if I understand this correctly,” Ell said, holding up her hands, pacing. It was only succeeding her making her dizzy, not less anxious. “I am gone for two days because I need to help prepare for the Adonis Festival in a couple of months. LaFontaine is kidnapped, Perry has a breakdown, you warn Kirsch about Will,” Ell stopped and glared at Carmilla, “and I had to watch Laura’s _videos_ to find out all of this?” 

“You know, when I agreed to meet you instead of trying to force myself to sleep at midnight, I thought it’d be for something _fun._ I thought we were trying to be friendly toward each other now and--” Carmilla looked down at her foot. “ _Christ,_ why are we meeting in the woods?” 

“Because I needed to eat,” Ell took the fish in her hands, sinking her teeth into it. “Want one?” 

“No, fish blood is disgusting. Any particular reason you refuse to just get the blood from the infirmary like I’ve been doing?” 

“...Danny likes that I refuse to drink human blood,” Ell mumbled.

“Of course.” 

“It’s not like you aren’t whipped,” Ell answered. 

“Meaning?” 

“Laura left the camera on. ‘Waltzing?’ Really? That is right out of your playbook.” 

Carmilla put her hands on her hips and smirked. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ell asked. 

“I thought you _didn’t_ want to sleep with me anymore,” Carmilla said. 

“I don’t!” 

“You’re not mad because I kept you out of the loop, you’re mad because I’m flirting with Laura. Admit it, Sugar. You’re _jealous._ ” 

“I am not,” Ell snapped, “I’m just mad because you’re being so unoriginal. I watched all the videos. Waltzing, the candles, champagne, that’s like--seriously, _exactly_ what you did with me.” 

“I will not deny I have a few go to moves--” 

“It was all fun until Laura actually started to _like_ you, and do you have any idea how bad of an idea a relationship with a _human_ is?” 

“Please,” Carmilla said dismissively, turning away from her, “this is all harmless fun.” 

“To an immortal vampire, maybe.” 

“What about you and Xena?” 

“I have never attempted to flirt with Danny. We are friends and--you know, she hates vampires so much it’s a miracle she’s even willing to hang out with me. _Laura_ might actually be warming up to the idea and you better know better than to let her.” 

“Jesus, Mom, you really want to tell me what to do--” 

“Did you just compare me to ‘Mom?’” 

Carmilla’s brow furrowed. She looked back at Ell. “Sugar, of _course_ I didn’t actually mean _Mother._ ” 

“You better not have,” Ell mumbled. 

They stared at each other. Carmilla couldn’t believe how hurt Ell looked. 

“What do you want me to do? Date a vampire? Because that leaves _you._ ” 

“No...no, that’s not an option,” Ell answered. 

“The way things are now, no.” 

“Now?” 

Carmilla crossed her arms. “Yeah, what about it?” 

Ell looked away from her. “Do you think there was _any_ possibility of us ever working out?” 

Carmilla took a step back. “Why do you want to think about that one hundred and forty two years after the fact?” 

“...Because I don’t think I hate you anymore.” 

Carmilla’s eyes widened. “...Really.” 

“All of that stuff. You agreeing to help Laura, realizing what you might have saved me from. Danny and the Summer Society. Being able to talk to you a few nights ago without wanting to wring your neck. And seeing you and _Laura_ I just…” Ell took a deep breath. “I feel like I don’t hate you anymore and that _terrifies_ me because now I don’t know how to feel about you.”

Carmilla could remember a time when all she wanted, more than anything else in the world, was for Ell to say what she was saying now. That she didn’t hate her. That, maybe, there was a chance for them to be together again. 

Now, remembering how Laura’s fingers interlocked with hers just a few hours ago, Carmilla wasn’t so sure of what she wanted. 

“...I need to go back,” Carmilla said, “make sure I’m down there when Laura gets up.” 

“Right.” 

“And Sugar?” 

“Yes?” 

Carmilla looked over her shoulder at her. “If we’re not both dead by the time this is all over, let’s talk.” 

“I...don’t know if I’d like that or not. But yes.” 


	11. Chapter 11

She was going to see Carmilla anyway when Laura called, so Ell went with Danny. 

“You look nervous,” Ell pointed out in the elevator. Danny stopped fidgeting with a strand of her hair, smiling at Ell. 

“A little,” Danny admitted, “I was afraid Laura would never want to talk to me again and now...I’m just afraid I’ll mess it up.” 

“You won’t,” Ell answered, “Danny, you are seriously the best person I know. Laura is an idiot if she doesn’t notice that.” 

The elevator _dinged._ Danny clasped her hands behind her back, nudging Ell. “Thanks, Ells. You’re pretty cool for a vampire, you know that?” 

Ell cleared her throat. “Mm-hm. For a vampire, yeah.” 

The doors opened and Ell followed Danny to Laura’s room. When Danny leaned against the doorframe, Ell ducked under her arm. She sat next to Carmilla. 

“Hey, Carmilla.” 

“Elisabeth,” Carmilla said, turning the pages of her book. Ell forced herself to focus on the pages instead of looking at Danny and Laura. 

“Are you still watching?” Laura asked. “Or are you getting your info from Ell?” 

“Not since the library...I worry too much. I mean, I even told Ell to stop telling me things.” 

Laura forgave Danny. Why else would she invite her over?

“So...I need to ask you something.” 

“Yeah, of course,” Danny said softly. 

Ell should be happy, Danny was her friend. 

“So, the immediate thing about all of this is that it’s been very stressful.” 

“I haven’t exactly seen you in class, lately.” 

She shouldn’t feel so awful about this. 

“Yeah, about that--” 

Laura was so much better for Danny anyway--

“--can I have an extension on my lit paper?” 

“What?” Danny and Ell said at the same time. Laura either didn’t notice Ell or ignored her, and Ell couldn’t even pretend to not be listening anymore. 

“Just a week until this whole evil ritual thing I need to thwart is over!” 

_“What?”_

“Three days…?” 

“Oh my God,” Danny turned her head to the side, “I can’t believe I thought--no, instead you make me come all this way because you can’t stay on top of your _homework?”_

“Ooooh, she is pissed,” Carmilla whispered to Ell, smirking, “figured she would be.” 

“You _knew?”_ Ell hissed. 

“Of course I did.” 

Ell clenched her jaw. 

“Trying to save four people isn’t worth three days? And wait,” Laura said, “can’t believe you thought what?” 

“Nothing,” Danny said hastily, getting up. 

“Did you think I invited you over here so we could--” 

“No, not anymore,” Danny snapped, turning on her heel. Ell felt bad for Laura--mad at her, certainly, but still a little bit sympathetic. 

“Um, Danny, Laura _is_ trying to--” 

“You know I can’t believe the _vampire,”_ Danny pointed at Ell, “is starting to look like the more sensitive person right now!” 

“--take advantage of your good nature!” Ell finished standing up and taking Danny’s side. 

“Ell, what the heck?” Laura said. 

“I’m sorry Laura, as sympathetic as I am to your cause, you still could have at least told Danny this on the phone.” 

“Thank you!” Danny said, looking at Ell. 

Carmilla put a hand to her mouth and coughed. “Ell-just-wants-to-get-laid.” 

She put her hands to her head, clenching her hair before dropping her hands. “Of _course_ I want to get laid!” Ell exclaimed. 

Danny stared at her. “Uh…” 

“Any _reasonable_ human being would want to! Any _reasonable_ human being would take,” Ell gestured at Danny, “the tall, athletic, heroic, _kind_ human being,” Ell gestured at Carmilla, “over the misanthropic, morally ambiguous vampire! The only person who wouldn’t is an adrenaline hooked teenager who thinks ‘text me before you do something that will probably kill you’ instead of ‘text me _while_ something tries to kill you’ means that they are _smothering_ and--and-- _ugh._ I am going home. I’ll watch Laura’s videos to fill me in on everything.” 

“That is so unfair!” Laura shouted at Ell as she grinded her teeth and stormed out. Danny looked at Laura and Carmilla. 

“...Don’t call me again,” Danny said. She nodded curtly and walked out. 

“Wow, you stole my thunder,” Danny said, “you sounded angrier than I did.” 

“Yeah,” Ell said, “that was a long time coming.” 

“And you apparently want to be ‘laid…?’” 

Ell paused, blushing as the elevator door _dinged._ “You are prejudiced against my very species. There is zero way that you would ever consider dating me no matter what I do so...you know, maybe it should have been worded better. But I thought you already knew I liked you?” 

“I didn’t realize _that_ much,” Danny mumbled awkwardly at the carpet as they both stepped inside. 

“You know, I can’t believe part of me thought that if we managed to stop Maman I might actually _consider_ the possibility that Carmilla--” Ell shook her head. “But then seeing Laura choosing _her_ over _you?_ It’s not even a contest. So thanks for reminding me of that.” 

“...You’re welcome?” Danny leaned her head against the wall of the elevator. “God, I overreacted though, didn’t I? I should have given her the extension.” 

“I probably did too,” Ell admitted. 

“She hates me now,” Danny said as the elevator doors opened. “Ell, my life _sucks._ ” 

Ell put a hand on her arm. “My life has sucked for a hundred and forty-two years,” she said, “I don’t know how much better it gets, but I _can_ say that if I can handle it you can.”

“...You want to get pie?” Danny asked, “I _really_ want to take a few hours to pretend that none of this ever happened.” 

“Pie sounds _fantastic._ ” 

***

The Summer Society had a balcony. 

Carmilla had a feeling Ell would be out on the balcony. Ell had always liked balconies. Even when she was still human Carmilla always knew to find her on the balcony outside of her room, leaning against the balcony and looking at the sky. 

“Ell!” 

“Hm?” Ell looked around her. Carmilla, in a moment of frustration, took off her shoe and threw it. 

“HEY!” 

“Shhhh! Do you want to wake up the entire house?” 

“Carmilla?” Ell leaned over the railing to look at her. “What are you doing down there?” 

“I need to talk to you,” Carmilla answered, “come down here.” 

She shoved her hands in her pockets, tapping her foot impatiently. Ell frowned. 

“Emergency?” 

_“Yes.”_

“Alright.” 

She clambered over the railing, clutching the bars for a moment before taking a breath and letting go. She landed nimbly on her feet, dusting herself off. 

“What’s wrong?” Ell asked, as Carmilla paced back and forth. “You don’t look good.” 

“Ell, this is shit. Everything is shit.” 

“Okay, but you always say that,” Ell answered, tracking Carmilla with her eyes, “is it Laura?” 

“Yes.” 

“Is she in danger?” 

She stopped, looking at Ell. “Have you been watching the videos?” 

“I was more distracted trying to heal Danny’s broken heart...and slightly bruised ego, not gonna lie.” 

Carmilla took a deep breath. “Laura hates me.” 

“...Unsurprising. May I ask why?” 

“No,” Carmilla answered, “I really, really don’t want to tell you why.” 

She didn’t want to think about Laura. She didn’t want to think about how she screwed up. She didn’t want to think about what was happening to Kirsch. 

What she wanted was a friend. The closest thing she had at the moment was Ell. And, somehow, Ell understood. Her brow furrowed for a moment before stating simply, “come here.” 

Before Carmilla could say no Ell was giving her a hug. “Carmilla Karnstein,” Ell said, “you are a jerk. You are absolutely insufferable. But...you’re not the worst human being in the world. Laura will come around.” 

“Thank you,” Carmilla mumbled into her shoulder, “but I don’t think this is forgivable.”

“Look, if _I_ can give you a hug, Laura can forgive you for whatever. If there’s one thing this year has taught me it’s that once you get a taste of being happy, hating things is way too exhausting to do for long.” 

This was forgiveness. Or the closest thing Carmilla was ever going to get to forgiveness from her. It wasn’t the beautiful, freeing feeling she expected. It was more like a heavy blanket being wrapped around her shoulders. She felt the weight of it, the responsibility of knowing she would never really deserve it. But it was also warm.

“Mother...hasn’t talked to you?” 

“No. Should she have?” 

Carmilla pushed away from her. 

Maman hadn’t threatened Ell. Which meant she didn’t care if Ell tried to stop her or not. Which meant...Carmilla was the only one she saw as a threat. And even though she was the only one Maman was afraid of she was giving up on Laura and--Carmilla shook her head. This was the right thing to do. 

“No, just wondering. She, uh...hasn’t talked to me either. Hey?” 

“Hm?” 

“When all of this is over we should go see the Met. Like I promised when we were…” 

Ell squinted slightly for a moment before smiling. “If the next few days go well, we can go wherever we want whenever we want. Right?” 

That metaphorical blanket she felt around her shoulders quickly became suffocating. 

“Yeah. Yeah. Goodnight, Sugar.” 

“Are you going to be okay?” 

No, but when had that ever stopped Carmilla before? 

“I’ll survive.” 

***

“And Carmilla, if you’re watching this... _you know!”_

She shouldn’t have come back. 

It was probably too late. All watching the videos did was put her through more torture. Carmilla slammed her palms against the computer desk. 

“You just _had_ to go and get yourself eaten--oh God, you’re somewhere getting eaten…” 

And, as if things could not possibly get any worse--

“YOU!” 

Ell ran in, running until she was nose to nose with her. “Every time I think we might actually start being friends you do something so _horrible!”_

“...Caught up on the videos?” 

“Yes! Of all the evil, double crossing, backstabbing betrayals--” 

“Okay, where is Laura, because this _isn’t funny.”_

“ _Great,_ you brought the Ginger,” Carmilla said. 

“I just got a text,” Danny held her cell phone up, “trapped in basement of old chapel, _bring stakes._ ” 

“The Dudley Chapel? The Lustig Building!” Carmilla pushed Ell out of the way, “they’re under the Lustig Building! Okay,” Carmilla started pacing back and forth, “get down there right now. Rustle up your sorority sisters, Hell, get your Zetas bros to help.” 

“What are _you_ going to do?” 

Carmilla paused in the doorway. “I’m about to do something really stupid,” Carmilla looked at Ell, “you got your wish, Sugar. Time to be a big damn hero.”

“Carmilla, you’re not…?” Ell took a step towards her, “I saw the video. The sword is going to kill you.” 

“Hence the ‘really stupid part’. The camera is still on if you want to film a heartfelt goodbye.” 

Danny looked at the camera. “Screw that.” 

“Good call.” 

“See you at the violence.” 

They nodded curtly toward one another before Carmilla ran out. Danny looked at Ell. 

“Anything you want to say?” 

Ell looked at the camera. “Honestly, you’re the only one I’d really want to say goodbye to.” 

She was starting to turn a little green which Danny noticed. “Ell, listen--” 

“Do not give me any of your chivalry. Yes, I am terrified of Mother. But I am doing this.” She looked at Danny. “Promise me something. If worse comes to worse, you better not try and save me.” 

Danny frowned. “Ell, that’s--” 

“No, Danny, _listen,_ ” Ell grabbed Danny’s face. “I am _so tired._ Of Silas, and my screwed up relationship with...with _everything,_ and being a slave, and...I am just _tired._ If it comes down to saving yourself, or going back for me...please, don’t. Because if I die, I still _win._ Because this ends. One way or another, tonight this is going to _end_ for me. I’m stopping my mother of I’m going to die trying.” 

Danny tried to shake her head. Ell held it in place. “...Okay,” Danny said. 

“Okay?” 

“Okay. Because that’s not going to happen.” 

Ell nodded curtly. She looked around before picking up a spare stake and holding it out to Danny. “Then...then I guess…good luck, Wonder Woman.” 

Danny grabbed it. “Good luck, Ells.” 

“Now let’s go KILL MY MOM!” She clenched her fists, trying to pump herself up before running out of the room. In any other situation, Danny would have laughed. 

***

The ground became muddier the farther down they went. Ell’s shoes sank into the wet dirt, pooling water into her shoes and slowing their descent. She didn’t know at what point they all lined up behind her but--well, she was apparently the one leading them in. Danny was right behind her. 

“...Wait, why are you all following me?” Ell whispered. 

“I guess because you’re the strongest person in the group by virtue of the whole vampire thing,” Danny whispered back. 

The last thing she needed was the added pressure of being the first one charging into battle--a battle she wasn’t even sure she was brave enough to fight. It was one thing to give them information and fight her jerk of a vampire brother. It was another to try and deck _Mother_ in the face. 

“Broom closet!” Danny whispered. “Okay, stand back, I’m gonna kick this door down--” 

“ _Whoa,_ Wonder Woman,” Ell held her back, “why are you doing it instead of the super strong vampire?” 

“...Right.” 

Ell cracked her knuckles, grabbed the doorknob, and twisted. It came off in her hand, and Ell reached her hand into the hole, pulling open the door--and revealing Laura and Perry leaning against the back wall. 

“Guys!” Laura ran forward, hugging Danny. “Thank you so much!” 

“Don’t thank me yet, we haven’t saved everyone.” Danny looked at Ell. “Around that corner. Are you ready?” 

Ell crossed her arms. “Yes.” 

Danny raised her stake in the air. “FOR SILAS!” 

She took a deep breath and charged in. The chasm echoed their footsteps, making their army of seventy or eighty sound closer to two hundred. The line of vampires rushed forward and Ell was surprised by how _unafraid_ she was now that it was actually happening. Watching Danny expertly wield a stake as she fought vampires made it hard to be scared. When she stood with Ell back to back, grimacing with her brow furrowed with concentration before both of them sprung apart, she didn’t think it was _possible_ for them to lose. Ell grabbed two of her siblings, knocking their heads together and sending them to a crumpled heap on the ground. 

“Nice work, Ells!” 

“Thanks, Wonder--” 

There was a shadow that fell over and then--birds. Crows, cawing and pecking at her in a tornado of beaks and feathers. Ell started swatting at them, her fear returning full force, and suddenly...the crows stopped. 

And Maman was grabbing her from behind, an arm across her throat and arm across her torso. 

“You insignificant, ungrateful, petulant little _welp!”_

“Ell!” 

“Step back or I crush her like paper.” 

“Danny, you might want to listen,” Ell choked out. 

Danny adjusted her grip on her stake, but didn’t move. 

“I saved your life,” Maman said, “I could have dragged you away to feed you to the Light, but I didn’t. I could have killed you because you were so weak and spineless, but I gave you every chance to prove you could be _somewhat_ useful. And this is how you repay me? By throwing your lot in with some White Knight that will never see you as more than a monster if you’re less than perfect? I am your _mother!”_

She tightened her grip on Ell and she yelped. Ell closed her eyes. 

“I had a mother,” Ell said, “she died when I was born. You _kidnapped_ me!” 

She elbowed her in the ribs. Maman slackened her grip enough for Ell to escape. 

“When I learned what you did to Laura I wondered why you didn’t threaten me,” Ell said, jumping back as Maman tried to grab her again. “It was because you thought I was too weak, wasn’t it? Even if I tried I couldn’t possibly be a real threat,” she grabbed her wrists, trying to knee her, but Maman broke free, “and I would be too afraid to go through with fighting you anyway, right? You must feel pretty stupid _now!”_

She grabbed her by the wrists again. Ell’s chest was heaving when she said, “I am _never_ calling you Mother again, Lilita. I am _done.”_

Lilita did nothing but roll her eyes and pull away. Light started to flood the room, and she smirked. “You might want to pay attention to your friend.” 

“What…?” 

They were all moving toward the light. Laura, Perry, LaFontaine...Danny. Ell let go. 

“Can’t save all of them dear, unfortunately,” Lilita shouted after her, “who are you going to pull back? Save the giant and you’ll have to tell her how you let all her friends walk right--” 

“Oh, shut the _fuck_ up.” 

The light in the room dimmed. And Ell saw Carmilla--standing at the other end of the chasm, holding the Blade of Hastur in the air as Laura stared at Carmilla dumbfoundedly from her position on the floor. 

“Cat…” Laura breathed, “you were just a _cat_ …” 

“Sorry it took me awhile,” Carmilla said, “finding a sword in the pitch black darkness of the ocean? Harder than it sounds.” 

Lilita was staring at Carmilla; Ell took the opportunity to go to Carmilla. 

“Laura finally got me to be the hero,” Carmilla said, “like what you’re seeing?” 

“I would like seeing that sword run through her even more,” Ell answered, “won’t this kill you?” 

“...Yes.” 

“Last time you’re going to work with me then, huh?” 

Carmilla swallowed. To anyone but Ell--who had known Carmilla for over a hundred years, had been closer to her at one point than even Laura--she looked unafraid. But Ell knew better. “Yes.” 

Ell put a hand on Carmilla’s shoulder. “I started this whole vampire thing with you, I’m going to end it with you.” 

Carmilla smirked. “Let’s go.” 

Lilita screamed. She rushed at them both in a swirl of shadows and they stood their ground, Carmilla holding the blade up in front of her face protectively. Ell crouched, getting low to avoid the worst of the crows. She managed to swat a few until Lilita turned into a woman again. Carmilla decked her in the face with the hilt of the sword and Lilita stumbled back--but not before grabbing and pulling Ell with her. 

“Ell!” Carmilla grabbed for her and missed. They both fell, hanging from a ledge farther that the cliff face. Carmilla bent down. “I’m going to get you out of there Sugar, just hang on!” 

Lilita was holding onto Ell’s leg with an iron grip. Ell’s teeth were gritted in pain. “If you want to save her, you’ll have to save me too!” 

Ell’s eyes widened. She looked down at Lilita. Then at Carmilla. 

She would do it. Ell knew Carmilla would. 

“I am not going to let her do that.” 

“Do not do anything stupid, Ell--” 

“Go to _Hell,_ Lilita!” 

Ell took a deep breath and let go, falling with Lilita into the light. 

“ _Ell!”_

Carmilla fell to her knees. 

One hundred and forty two years. 

Doing so much to try and keep her safe. 

Actually, maybe, being her _friend_ after all of this was over. 

And now she was just _gone._

Carmilla started to cry tears of frustration. 

“Carmilla?” 

Laura was watching her. Bruised, cut, and shaky on her feet.There was a vampire with a stake in its chest laying in front of her. She hadn’t seen what happened. 

Carmilla wasn’t going to make the same mistake she made with Ell. She was going to get Laura out of this. She _had_ to. 

She stood up. Turned to Laura and flashed a shaky smile. 

“You know, I am getting _really_ tired of this ‘heroic vampire’ crap.” 

Laura smiled. 

At least that would be the last thing Carmilla would see, not Ell falling to her death. 

And, without another word, Carmilla drove her sword into the heart of the Light. 

***

It wasn’t fair that she couldn’t say goodbye. 

Danny didn’t even know until after the battle was over. When the vampires had surrendered and the chaos was over, she’d searched the cavern for her. Nothing. A Zeta had to finally be the one to come forward and tell her that he had seen a girl fall with the Dean into the pit. At least Laura had the closure of having a few final words with Carmilla.

She and Laura became friends again. They were the only two that lost anyone in the battle--saving Kirsch, Danny guessed, but Will had tried to kill him. They didn’t talk a lot; but they would sit together in Laura’s dorm, and occasionally Laura would look up from her computer, or Danny would look up from grading papers. 

“Carmilla used to always steal my pillow,” Laura said. 

“Ell could quote entire paragraphs from Pride and Prejudice.” 

“Carmilla had this weird obsession with exotic smelling candles but they smelled fantastic.” 

“Ell collected smooth stones she found when she went fishing in the river.” 

“...Carmilla was a jerk but she was _my_ jerk.” 

Danny sighed. “Ell was a vampire and she probably died thinking that it mattered to me.” 

“Did it?” 

Danny bit her lip. “I...don’t know anymore.” 

And then, a few days later, when she found Carmilla limp and lifeless at the bottom of the pit, she wanted to scream. Because it _wasn’t fair._ It wasn’t fair that Carmilla could do one act of heroics just to help Laura and live, and Ell--Ell, who agonized over everything she’d ever done, who wanted nothing more than to help people because she wanted to do the _right thing_ \--was nowhere to be found. 

Of course Danny saved Carmilla. Ell being dead didn’t mean Carmilla deserved to be left there. And Laura not getting Carmilla back? That wasn’t fair either. She deserved it. 

But when Danny returned home alone, and sat on the front steps of the Summer Society House with her head resting in her hands...she couldn’t shake the feeling. It was _unfair._ And Danny felt like a bitch for thinking it. She wasn’t saving the school so that she could get rewarded for it. That wasn’t how the world worked, and she understood that--

“Hey! Lawrence!” 

Danny looked up. Mel was walking toward her, shovel in hand, Elsie following close behind with something cradled in her arms. “What?” 

“We kept looking in the pit to see if we could find anything after you left until the tremors got too bad,” Mel said, “wanted to see what you thought of this.” 

Elsie dropped the bundle at Danny’s feet. She looked down at it and squinted. At first it looked like a pile of rags, but on closer inspection…

“Is that...an _otter?”_

“I don’t know how it got down there either!” Elsie exclaimed, “we didn’t see it at first because the fur blended in with the dirt. Totally dead though, right? Mel wanted to just toss the little guy since it’s, like, totally dead, but I felt bad.” 

Danny reached a hand out, tentatively stroking the otter’s fur. It was weird. Like, _incredibly_ weird. What was an otter doing down under the Lustig--unless--

Danny sucked in a breath. “ _Fish!”_

“What the Hell are you talking about?” 

“She was always going down to the river to catch _fish!”_

She’d always wondered why Ell would choose _fish_ of all things to get blood from. And why no fishing rod? Unless...Ell didn’t _need_ a fishing rod.

Danny scooped the otter into her arms. She looked at Mel and Elsie. “I have to go find Laura and Carmilla.” 

“You’re not seriously saying that’s--” 

“Can’t talk right now!”

She sprinted, cradling the otter in her arms like a baby. She kept thinking, maybe it’s too late, Carmilla was older, she could probably survive a lot worse than Ell could--

When she found Laura’s dorm room, chest heaving, she realized she didn’t have the use of her hands. So Danny did the first thing she could think of: she rammed her shoulder into the door. 

_BANG!_

“What the frilly hell?” 

The door opened. “Red, while I appreciate the whole saving-my-life-thing, could you kindly--” 

Carmilla froze. Danny lifted the little, unconscious bundle in her arms. 

She yanked Danny inside. “Give me her, _now.”_

Laura stood up from her chair. “Is that an _otter?”_

“It’s not an otter. It’s Ell. I mean,” Danny looked to Carmilla for confirmation. “It’s totally Ell, right?” 

“Shut up and give me blood,” Carmilla snapped, taking Ell from her arms. 

“Right!” Laura rushed past Danny, grabbing a carton of soy milk. 

Carmilla laid Ell gently on Laura’s bed. She smoothed down her fur, speaking to her softly in German. Danny watched anxiously as Laura handed Carmilla the carton of blood, taking a step back to stand next to her. 

“Not a lot left,” Carmilla mumbled, “it’ll have to do.” 

She put her hand gently under the otter’s head, lifting it so she could press the carton to her lips. The last few remaining dribbles stained Ell’s snout red, and Carmilla crumpled the container and threw it unceremoniously. Laura darted forward, grabbing it before returning to Danny’s side. 

“Come _on,_ Sugar,” Carmilla said softly, “you cannot die on me right now. Wake up.” 

She didn’t move, and Laura walked forward, putting a comforting hand on Carmilla’s back. 

“Carmilla, I’m sorry--” 

And then a twitch. The slightest twitching of her nose, and then Ell’s tongue darted out to lick the blood from around her face. 

Her eyes opened and she stared at Carmilla. 

“...Ell? It’s me.” 

The otter blinked. 

And in a moment shifted and grew until Ell was laying on the bed, chest heaving and coughing dirt and rubble. 

“Otters...very slippery...smaller...kept me...from being crushed from aftershocks…” 

Ell tried to sit up, but she couldn’t. Carmilla caught her. 

“Hey, hey,” Carmilla repeated, “Ell, it’s okay.” 

Ell stopped talking, looking at Carmilla. She grabbed Carmilla suddenly, pulling her in for a tight hug. 

“And--and _Danny,_ ” Ell looked at Danny from over Carmilla’s shoulder, “hey, Wonder Woman.” 

Danny flashed an uncomfortable smile. “Hey, Ells.” 

Ell let go of Carmilla. “...I really want to give you a hug but I can barely move.” 

“Oh! Here,” Danny walked over, hugging her. “I thought I was never going to see you again. I really, _really_ missed you Ells.” 

Ell looked like she was about to cry when she responded, “believe me, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Danny let go. Ell smiled at Carmilla. 

“And _you,_ ” Ell smiled, “I thought you were supposed to be _dead._ ” 

“Sorry to disappoint you, Sugar.” 

“Of _course_ you didn’t,” Ell gasped, taking the statement seriously--something which surprised Carmilla. 

Laura cleared her throat. 

“Um...guys? You clearly have a...lot to talk about...and like Ell said she can barely move, so...we’ll give you some time?” 

Laura bit her lip. Carmilla swung her legs aside so she was sitting at the edge of the bed. 

“Cupcake, thank you.” 

Laura smiled, which quickly faltered when she looked at Danny. 

“Do you...want to go get pie or something?” 

“I guess.” 

“Wait.” 

Ell reached a hand out. Danny walked forward, and Ell grabbed her fingertips gently. 

“You both have been really...really good friends.” 

Danny looked at Ell. “You are a vampire.” 

“I know?” 

“I just…” Danny rubbed the back of her neck, “want you to know that it doesn’t matter to me. I’m just glad you’re here.” 

Ell sighed. “You have no idea how much I have wanted to hear that.” 

Carmilla moved away from Ell slightly. Ell bit her lip. “...But Danny, one day it is going to matter, and I don’t think I could do that to you. Friends?”

“...Friends.” Danny removed her hand. She walked to the door, opening it and sweeping an arm out. “After you, Hollis.” 

“Thanks, Danny,” Laura lingered for a moment. 

“Sorry, Cupcake,” Carmilla said. 

“Don’t be,” Laura said, “you guys...obviously have a lot to talk about.” 

Laura nudged Danny. “Let’s go. I actually really missed pie with you.” 

Danny smiled softly and followed Laura. 

At least, Ell thought, they might end up being okay. She hoped they would be. 

“Carmilla?” 

“Yes?” 

Ell rubbed the back of her neck. “How long was I out?” 

“...We were both dead for a few days, Sugar.” 

“A few days,” Ell closed her eyes, “they found you before me.” 

“Yeah, they did.” 

“What happened?” 

Carmilla mimicked Ell’s uncomfortable posture. “With what, Sugar?” 

Ell looked at Carmilla incredulously. “You’re telling me that Laura found you alive after you were all heroic and self sacrifice-y, and you did not try and cash in? Come on.” 

Carmilla blinked. She shifted uncomfortably, purposefully avoiding Ell’s gaze, clearing her throat. 

“Do not tell me that you don’t kiss and tell,” Ell continued. 

“I thought about it,” Carmilla finally confessed, “until I realized you weren’t there.” 

Ell went from looking playfully amused to looking as nervous as Carmilla. “Oh.” 

“You weren’t there,” Carmilla continued, “and fuck, Sugar, how could I think about that when you were _gone._ How could I focus on a girl I knew for two months when I just lost the girl I’d been--” Carmilla paused. “--been whatever the fuck we’ve been for a hundred forty two years.” 

Ell covered her mouth with her hand. Carmilla lifted her arm, putting it around her, but not actually touching her. 

“Ell?” 

“No, no, I’m sorry, I’m fine,” Ell said, voice shaky, “it’s just...we both _died,_ Carmilla. And then they rescued us, and suddenly we don’t have Lilita controlling us, we don’t have _anything._ It’s so overwhelming. The definition of a clean slate.” 

“I...guess it is. Free to, uh,” Carmilla removed her arm, “ _not_ have to spend time with me every twenty years because Mother makes you.” 

Ell looked at Carmilla, frowning deeply in thought. Before she could lose her nerve, she grabbed Carmilla’s hand. 

“If this is a clean slate,” Ell said, “do you maybe...want to try starting us off with a clean slate?” 

Carmilla couldn’t answer for a moment. She curled her fingers slightly. “So we’re going to just, act like none of this…?” 

“None of it. And I mean _none_ of it.” Ell shook her head. She swallowed, and then said, “my name is Elisabeth. And it’s very nice to meet you.” 

It seemed impossible to do. They’d been through so much--anger, love, hatred, a _lot_ of hatred--how could Ell think that they could just pretend? 

But then again, just a few weeks ago, Carmilla would have thought Ell even _suggesting_ this was impossible. More than a century ago Carmilla would have thought falling in love with Ell at all was impossible. 

If anyone could do the impossible, it was Ell. 

Carmilla squeezed her hand. “Carmilla.” 

“Nice to meet you. Thank you for, um...saving us all and everything.” 

“Thanks for killing my Mother. She was a bitch.” 

Ell nodded. They both looked away from each other, sitting in silence, still holding each other’s hands. 

“...What now?” Ell asked. 

“I guess we talk.” 

“I think I forgot how to just talk with you,” Ell admitted. 

“I’ll give it a shot.” Carmilla smirked, looking at her. “So...you’re a Eurasian otter, huh?” 

To round out the list of incredible things Carmilla accomplished that semester, she actually managed to make Ell laugh. 


End file.
